Why I Hate a “Pick-up Artist”

by Edge

in PUA

“Yuck,” I thought to myself, sitting outside a Starbucks cafe on flashy Lincoln Road, Miami Beach, FL.  I was trying to figure out the thought that was so revolting to me.

If men thought peacocking was as important as oxygen, this is what the world would look like.

In the same way a child covers his eyes in hopes that whatever frightens him would disappear, I was watching hordes of people clinging to something to block their view of what scares them: life.

Wearing sunglasses to the club wasn’t a gimmick on South Beach – it was … well… the “normal” thing to do.

Then, the thought I had been grasping for suddenly snapped into view, like a lens coming into focus.

“It’s emotional counterfitting,” I wrote down in my notebook and took another sip of coffee.

I know my reasons for wanting to learn “pick-up” or seduction or whatever you want to call it.  Quite simply: I sucked with women in high school and I wanted to be good with women, but I had no idea how I could learn.

I found the materials that were out at the time and I studied them hard.  I eventually took action and I started having success with women in my life.  And it was like a breath of fresh air and hope for my future.

But I still didn’t feel “good enough”.  Sure, I was getting laid, but I wasn’t getting women I really really wanted yet.

And so I continued on and on, studying more broadly and more deeply.  Pushing myself harder and harder to meet more women, become more and more bold, etc.

I grew and the quality of women in my life improved.  But what I didn’t realize at the time was what the heart of the actual improvement was: it was my willingness to step up and face the wild.

I spent two and a half years endlessly studying material to no avail.  Could I have written a term paper on everything I read, accurately quoted, organized and theoretically applied?  Absolutely.  Could I have confidently talked in chatrooms and forums about it?  Definitely.

Why did I wait 2.5 years?  Why didn’t I just go out and start trying stuff?

Well, I was afraid.  The fear was overwhelming – all-encompassing, irrational fear.  I wanted a way to succeed with women without having to face any of the situations I was afraid of.

The material didn’t give me the balls and the character needed to have any kind of success.

Taking ACTION in spite of fear was the missing element and key.  Stepping up with the warrior attitude and bringing my best.

And that’s what kills me about the whole “Pick Up Artist” mindset.

The basic premise is that you can have a contingency plan for everything.  A line for every moment.  A backdoor to avoid any unpleasant situation.

Now – don’t get me wrong.  The information is helpful in many ways as examples of skillfully leading a woman to a place.

But in the absence of inner strength (good inner game), learning pick-up tactics is building a house of cards for women:  looks great so long as the woman doesn’t shake the table and no small gust of wind blows by.

Problem is… women love “shaking the table”, so to speak.

Now I see forums packed with guys, talking about game.  I see lairs filled with guys who… talk about game.  I meet guys who have read some pick-up material and they want to talk to me about game and tell me about how much they know about game.

Here’s the retardedness of it all:  Talking about game does not mean that you have game.  To remove any terminology from the situation, talking about game does not mean you have any skill at meeting or attracting women.  All that it means is that you have a knack for regurgitating things you’ve read.

Real growth in game comes from facing what you are afraid of as best you can.  Real growth in your skills with women comes from pushing yourself and not searching for the ultimate shortcut to avoid putting your balls on the table.

You got game?  You’re a pick-up artist?  Then get out there and prove it – go pick up a girl you actually want.  I’ll be waiting to hear back.

{ 4 comments }

Devon Brown March 29, 2011 at 3:15 pm

It all boils down to confidence. Confidence to make the attempt. Confidence to not worry about being being rejected. Confidence in knowing that you are the person you will go home with every night and if you have company that is only a plus. Confidence in yourself.

- Devon

Felina June 20, 2011 at 8:45 pm

I once met a guy who tried the PUA moves on me. It was a stupid thing to do, because we met on an online dating website, and I already agreed to go out with him. The whole night I felt weird. I knew he was behaving in a way I didn’t like, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. He made me uncomfortable. Finally I asked straight out if he was trying PUA tactics on me. He was shocked that I even knew what that was. I asked him nicely to please stop it. It made me feel weird; like I’m talking to a hologram and not a real person. I wanted him to be real, and he was behaving fake. I told him out right that I didn’t like him and I wanted to go home.

The next day he tried calling me out for another date, as if the whole awkward PUA thing didn’t happen. I refused.

Please, guys. Don’t treat us women like we’re puzzles to be figured out. Every girl is different, and if you got a shoot-from-the-hip kind of girl like me, she’ll see you as dishonest and fake.

Edge June 24, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Hey Felina,

Thanks for the comment. I think the way you put it is awesome: “like talking to a hologram”

There’s nothing creepier than talking to someone with a motive for you… you can smell the agenda and ingenuousness off of them and you just know that wheels are turning in their head on how they can use you in some way.

Gus October 19, 2011 at 6:49 am

This to the author of this blog – how can you make any comment that PUA is crap when you end an article with “Ask her these 3 questions scientists use to get laid… And you’ll get her, every time! Click here to discover a ‘simple trick’, so you can see inside any woman’s mind and know exactly what she is thinking about you.. Instantly and absolutely free.”

How does this not make you part of the same BS which you claim to disassociate from? Let me answer the question for you, this means you are just as full of BS as everyone else. So please. Shut up.

Previous post:

Next post: