BUILDING RAPPORT

When you start building rapport within the last 7%, you want to match predicates more than mirror them, and you want to mirror keywords more than you match them. The reason you want to do this is that it will more easily stay outside of someone’s consciousness.

In this context, matching predicates would be using similar ones as opposed to the same ones and mirroring key words would be using the exact key words as opposed to matching keywords. Mirroring someone’s predicates even once could bring risk bringing it into their consciousness, and matching someone’s key words will generally have a lesser effect.

Matching Predicates:

Her: I don’t see what you mean.

You: Let me try painting you a picture of what I’m talking about.

Her: I don’t think you’re hearing me!

You: No, I’m hearing you loud and clear.

Her: I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all week!

You: I’m just a hard person to get in touch with.

Her: I’m not getting a clear understanding of what you’re getting at.

You: Let me explain it in a way that makes sense to you.

Notice how you match their Representational System preference.

Mirroring Keywords:

Her: Yesterday, I had to take my car to the mechanic.

You: Why did you have to take your car to the mechanic?

Her: Oh I think the brakes were going. I started hearing this grinding noise when I was stopping.

You: Yeah, grinding noises are typical when you need your brakes replaced.

Notice how noise goes to noises. The words don’t have to be in the exact form, just use the root of the keyword.

You should generally start by matching someone and then switch to mirroring, as matching is less inside consciousness and mirroring is more inside consciousness, thus stepping down into and creating a deeper rapport.

The point of establishing unconscious rapport isn’t to always match and mirror someone. You want to meet them where they are and take them where you want them to go, to eventually and unconsciously LEAD them into matching and mirroring you. Once you are successful in accomplishing that, you have successfully built rapport with them.

HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOU’VE ESTABLISHED RAPPORT Read the rest of this entry »

KEYWORDS

Keywords are defined as the words that are used to reveal the internal structure of a persons reasoning.

But how are keywords important when building rapport? When you are trying to build rapport in your communications, one of the techniques you can use is Matching & Mirroring.

It’s time for another timeout.

Matching & Mirroring

Just like keywords, matching and mirroring is an import piece of building rapport. Allow me to distinguish the difference between them.

Matching - When you are matching someone, you are using the opposite side of your body to mimic their movements.

Mirroring - When you are mirroring someone, you are acting as if you are a mirror image of them.

Matching tends to be less in someone’s conscious awareness than mirroring, but mirroring will create a much deeper rapport. You want to be subtle, though, when you are matching and mirroring someone. You always want this to be outside of someone’s conscious awareness.

It’s important to understand and realize that when you do have a deep and unconscious rapport with someone, that you match and mirror them anyway, something that you already do naturally. It can be viewed as a way of honoring that person, so much that you’re willing to become like them in order to communicate with them.

Matching and mirroring can be applied to many different aspects of communication, but here I’m only going to discuss how to do it within the last 7% of communication, because again, it is beyond the scope of this post.

Let’s get back on track again.

Using the keywords of the person whom you are building rapport with is a great out-of-conscious way to establish that connection with them. Simply pick out 2 or sometimes 3 keywords from their last sentence or two and use them when you speak back to them.

This is very easy to accomplish during conversations.

COMMON EXPERIENCES

Ever find yourself in a conversation with someone Read the rest of this entry »

Becoming a Pickup Artist – A Core-Skills Guide to Game by Pick-Up Evolution

Part 19: Eliciting Values

What is Eliciting Values

Eliciting a persons values originates from NLP and Speed Seduction.  Basically what you are trying to accomplish is that you find out what is important to a person.  What really makes them tick and then you can connect with them through what ever quality they look for.

How to Elicit Values

You can Elicit values in many ways but I like to keep it simple and talk to girls by starting off slow finding out what they like to do and then transitioning into what they are really passionate about in their lives. Once you do that you can connect on their feelings surround what ever topic you are talking about.  The classic community line from Style is:

“STYLE’S EV ROUTINE Read the rest of this entry »