Let me start by saying that I started all wrong and that I had to figure things out on my own. As far back as 1st grade I knew I wanted more than one girlfriend I knew it was what I wanted for myself. The trouble was society’s stigma about monogamy. That’s entirely another topic of discussion, but I’ll just say that due to my upbringing, I was only taught about monogamous relationships. I hope you can learn something from some of my mistakes.
Rule #1. Know What You Want
I didn’t know what I wanted. I mean I never spelled it out, what I really wanted. I thought I knew but I was only living up to what others thought I should be doing. Figure out what you really want, not what your family expects of you, not what your current girlfriend wants from you, not what your friends think you should do, but what YOU really want. For me it’s an asian girlfriend and a blonde girlfriend, we all live together and love each other and have the freedom to see other people if we wish. Figure out what you want, in simplest terms. I have mine outlined in one and a half sentences. Yours should be too.
Rule #2. Communication Is Key
I was horrible with this. I couldn’t discuss what I wanted, felt or needed. Without a doubt, the biggest thing that makes MLTR’s work is communication. You have to talk about what you feel and why you feel it and listen to each of your partner’s to figure out what they think and feel as well. The effort you put into communicating with your partners will reward you ten fold.
Rule #3. Honesty is YOUR best policy.
I lied about seeing other girls. Lying made me a cheater. I was engaging in things that were clearly breaking a boundary of the other person I was involved with. Don’t be an asshole, tell her the truth. Give her the option to decide for herself if she wants to go down this road with you.
When you are first talking to a new girl, don’t say things like ‘My girlfriend and I are taking a break, seeing other people.’ In her mind you create the vision that you’ll be returning to her someday and whatever you try creating with this girl will be doomed from the start.
If you are seeing or plan to be seeing other girls, you have to set that frame right from the beginning. Saying things like ‘I’m casually dating right now.’ or ‘I’m seeing a couple of girls but it’s nothing serious.’ will set the proper expectations.
If you are in a serious relationship you can simply say that you are seeing someone seriously but that you just broke off another serious relationship because it didn’t work out. She’ll understand that you had 2 serious relationships going at the same time.
Rule #4 [Click to Continue Reading…]
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