BUILDING RAPPORT

When you start building rapport within the last 7%, you want to match predicates more than mirror them, and you want to mirror keywords more than you match them. The reason you want to do this is that it will more easily stay outside of someone’s consciousness.

In this context, matching predicates would be using similar ones as opposed to the same ones and mirroring key words would be using the exact key words as opposed to matching keywords. Mirroring someone’s predicates even once could bring risk bringing it into their consciousness, and matching someone’s key words will generally have a lesser effect.

Matching Predicates:

Her: I don’t see what you mean.

You: Let me try painting you a picture of what I’m talking about.

Her: I don’t think you’re hearing me!

You: No, I’m hearing you loud and clear.

Her: I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all week!

You: I’m just a hard person to get in touch with.

Her: I’m not getting a clear understanding of what you’re getting at.

You: Let me explain it in a way that makes sense to you.

Notice how you match their Representational System preference.

Mirroring Keywords:

Her: Yesterday, I had to take my car to the mechanic.

You: Why did you have to take your car to the mechanic?

Her: Oh I think the brakes were going. I started hearing this grinding noise when I was stopping.

You: Yeah, grinding noises are typical when you need your brakes replaced.

Notice how noise goes to noises. The words don’t have to be in the exact form, just use the root of the keyword.

You should generally start by matching someone and then switch to mirroring, as matching is less inside consciousness and mirroring is more inside consciousness, thus stepping down into and creating a deeper rapport.

The point of establishing unconscious rapport isn’t to always match and mirror someone. You want to meet them where they are and take them where you want them to go, to eventually and unconsciously LEAD them into matching and mirroring you. Once you are successful in accomplishing that, you have successfully built rapport with them.

HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOU’VE ESTABLISHED RAPPORT Read the rest of this entry »

Becoming a Pickup Artist – A Core-Skills Guide to Game by Pick-Up Evolution

Part 25

Rapport

The key to creating a powerful connection is really making the other person feel it.  Not just talking about something but to really feel a powerful feeling inside of them. This feeling of connection is a surefire way to create a powerful connection. The old Speed Seduction rule of going first is extremely important here when connecting with girls.  If you want to have someone feel a powerful connection with you then you need to connect and get excited about something for yourself before they can get excited.

As I went out more and more, I noticed that the girls that I would connect with the best where the ones where we ended up talking about things that were really important to me. Things like friends, family, and my work.  When it came down to it I really was talking about my Passions in life.  If you start talking about things that really get you amped up and excited then whoever you are talking to is going to get amped up and excited.  Feelings are contagious.  If you can create amazing powerful good feelings in yourself then the girl that you are talking to will catch those feelings and start feeling them.  They will then associate the feelings they are getting with you.

Passions

I have found that to really get amped up and excited Read the rest of this entry »

Becoming a Pickup Artist – A Core-Skills Guide to Game by Pick-Up Evolution

Part 10: Creating Rapport, Deep comfort,Wide Rapport, and Connection Part B

Legend:

In the seduction community, there are two types of rapport:

Wide rapport

Would consist of talking about any number of subjects and keeping it light / surface-level as you talk about a ton of things.  You talk about your job, talk about her job, her about pets, talk about what you like to do for fun… really anything.  The principle behind wide rapport is that you both get to know a little bit about everything in each others lives.

I suggest get to know a little bit about her then pick one topic and delve deeper into it.

Deep rapport

Depending on the situation, I think deep rapport is a great Read the rest of this entry »

Becoming a Pickup Artist – A Core-Skills Guide to Game by Pick-Up Evolution

Part 10: Connecting Part A

Legend:

What to talk about once you hook

Once you’re reaching a point where a girl wants you to stay and talk, I assume attraction and begin to connect with her. The point of forming a connection is really to figure out some commonalities and things that you can do together to set up a future date. Some people argue that they want to talk about crazy deep subjects but for now I would suggest that you just get used to talking about what each of you do for work, what you guys do for fun, and if you want to get into it really what you’re passionate about.

Edge:

I would say that conversations in clubs should really focus more on vibe than subject matter. In other words, DEFINITELY don’t try to be deep or profound – keep it fun, light and engaging, but not deep.

I very much enjoy having deep, profound conversations about different subjects. But I can guarantee that even if you manage to get a girl engaged into a deep conversation with you, she will run off the moment she sees something shiny-looking and fun (metaphorically speaking). Women do not go to clubs to think. They go there to feel.

Legend:

Creating rapport and connection also known as building comfort

This post is inspired by something I heard Entropy say recently. Credit to him and check out his blog.

Let me drill this down a bit: I’m not saying that my interactions with women don’t have painful moments, or frustrating moments, or sad or angering or confusing moments. What I am saying is that I now know that I will never be permanently damaged by my relationship with any one woman (on an emotional level).

I bring this up because there’s all this talk in our society and in the media about the guy-character that guys fucked over by a woman in the worst way and he’s just an emotional wreck. I think it’s a terrible role-model to keep putting up for men in our society – that kind of self-indulgent sulking is not productive and it is not necessary!

I do absolutely acknowledge and believe that there is value in natural grieving when love is lost. I absolutely believe that there’s nothing wrong with experiencing the natural shock, pain, horror, sadness, etc. when a relationship that you care about falls apart. I don’t even think that there’s anything wrong with feeling it when you try to approach a woman and you just get shot down.

What I’m saying is that once you’ve experienced it Read the rest of this entry »