Posts Tagged “approach anxiety”

I was talking with Legend recently and we were in a discussion about sticking points, motivation and momentum in the realm of picking up women and general self-improvement.

Every choice we make is not just a single event in a vacuum. No, every choice we make sets the direction of our momentum.

As Legend has said, the more you do something, the more you will WANT to continue doing that thing. Just to set the context, this applies to things that you know you should do to progress towards our goals, but just haven’t been doing.

Amidst the hashing, we started talking about how if we choose the good action and at least start, we’re able to keep going with it, without problem. At the same time, if we choose something counter to what will get us to our goal (e.g. playing a video game instead of going out, surfing Facebook instead of studying how to improve … [Click Here to Read Post] »

What we focus on will define all of our interactions. As I have become better and better with every week of practice, I find it is harder to detach myself from an outcome. The irony in all of this is that going out and doing this in itself is a paradox. You have to each have faith in yourself, but at the same time not put demands on yourself. But even still you have to take action. If you don’t expect anything from yourself, then you open the door to trying new things. This is a current sticking point I am working through.

For me it’s easier to open sets and test out new things if I don’t hold in my head that I am good at anything, even if sometimes I’m very good. This is a mental trick that I do to not experience approach anxiety, but not necessarily the end solution. I really need to get back and think about the long process and end game, not just worry about the here and now.

I believe the most important part … [Click Here to Read Post] »

I’ve been surfing around the different blogs and forums today and I’ve come across the concept of “Destroying Anxiety” over and over again.

I’m going to throw in my 2 cents on this because I spent WAY too long trying to eliminate anxiety.

See, my belief (and I think a lot of guys think this on some level) was that guys who were good somehow lost their anxiety. Like naturals didn’t have anxiety here and really great pick-up artists (PUAs) found a way to eliminate it, then they started getting good. So I say to myself, “Well, I have a lot of approach anxiety. I’m going to have to get rid of this, then I can start doing this stuff.”

It was a bad strategy. I spent WAY too much time on the sidelines, searching for a product that would “eliminate my anxiety”.

The only thing that really dramatically … [Click Here to Read Post] »