SIN – How to Master Body Language

The other night I was sitting in a corner booth with two girls at my favorite restaurant when the subject of body language came up.  Trying to explain the nuts & bolts of this unwieldy, seemingly esoteric art of non-verbal communication to the both of them (in the most digestible way I could manage); I uncovered my best frame of transmitting it to others/all of you…so you can learn to master the subtle art too.

Basic Concepts below:

Non-verbal communication makes up about 70% of all communication (which means that 30% verbal communication seems almost worthless).  Of course, we still have to talk when the right time presents itself, but so much more value is being unconsciously perceived through non-verbal cues while you do the talking.

Body language just doesn’t happen … but it’s reflected in everybody else around you.

1. Ever know when somebody is approaching you from behind by sing the body language/expression of the person you’re talking to (before you turn around)?  Well body language travels much faster than that … actually it travels in a fraction of a second.  Any perceived event causes changes in body language.  A perceived change in body language causes a change in body language.  And so on.  What you may find interesting is that in the old days of programming sports video games they used to put the basketball shooter in a sensor suit for human motion detection to monitor every motion he made when shooting baskets (for example: a jump shot).  NOW … they put ALL the players on the basketball court in sensor suits (not just the shooter).  The reason: when an action (such as shooting a basket) is done, it affects everybody on the basketball court.  These changes could be the facing/alignment of their bodies, the direction of their feet, their emotions/dismay at losing or scoring points, etc.  The point here is … you wouldn’t even have to see the ball hit the basket … you’d know it instantaneously by the anguish on your team mates face, etc.  So realize that when you’re in a bar or some other closed setting, your movements (no matter how subtle/seen/unseen are affecting those around you (including your target).

Now … Advanced Concepts below:

1. First, you must see beyond individual body movements as an answer within themselves.  What I mean here is that “blinking eyes” when someone talks may or may not be an indication of lying.  A “nervous twitch” may or may not be “nervous”.  Do you get what I’m saying here?  Reading body language accurately has to do with “Situation” more than actual “body movement”.  As you get to know someone … it is the cumulating of situations vs. irregular body movements that allows for an accurate read.  For example: if you were to say “Do you trust me?” to the girl of your dreams and her eyes looked downward and to the corner first before responding, you might think that no she doesn’t.  But you can’t rule out 100% yet that this is an accurate reading due to some unknown circumstance that you can’t account for.  So you might want to ask another question to ascertain the truth (these extra questions may make you look like an idiot or someone who can’t hear first answers correctly, but they are vital to learning how to read people).  So now you ask: “Have you trusted all of your other boyfriends?”  Her eyes now dart downward and to the corner.  She lies and says: “Sure.”  But by her looking downward and to the corner on a question not concerning you may indicate that she has been hurt in the past for trusting and she is just having trust issues.  However, you still don’t know for sure yet.  So you ask another question, and another, until you weed out the truth by comparing body language vs. situation.  Etc.
2. Second, you must realize that we have limited choices.  We are not the infinite unique animals that we think we are.  In fact, we are quite predictable.  It is by accepting this frame that you will be able to narrow body language down to patterns of limited choices and reveal hidden motivations easier.  We want to think that we have an unlimited range of possible reactions to any given situation but this is untrue.  You say: “I just got promoted at my job!”  Acceptable body language/reactions to hearing this would be: a) excitement, b) lifting of his or her facial expression, c) a smile, d) a high-five, etc.  Unacceptable body language might be: a) a shrug, b) lack of excitement, c) scratching his or her head, etc.  Indiscernible body language might be: a) a slight nod, b) a pause, etc.  But the key here with this example (and any other) is that there are a finite number of possible reactions.  For example: Try asking someone if they have lied to you.  There is the a) “<hard of hearing>…what do you mean?” response, the b) “<pause>…no.” response, the c) “<exaggerated>…no!” response, the d) “<look away>…no…” response, the e) “<look into your eyes> No.” response, the f) “<surprised>…what?” response, etc.  And more … but not much more, and definitely not an infinite amount.  So … you could label each instance through calibration and cross reference situations to best determine the lying responses of people through body language by systematically exploring each one, and then finalizing your results later.  Here’s a tip BTW … it’s always best to ask a question you already know the answer to, just to learn their body language habits … which also makes for a lot of fun (just keep your reaction hidden so they’ll never know).  An even greater tip is to always watch the body language of a liar’s friend when you ask a liar a question (friends give away a stronger reaction/tell through body language (if they know about the lie)).

Remember that all of your calibration is surmised through your interpretation of post-body language/in-field game play.  Factoring in these concepts above will help you narrow and more accurately access situations properly.  I offer another tool in my eBook “Instant Sexual Attraction” called the “Mirror Theory” based off mirror neurons/NLP that will also help you calibrate more accurately.  Accurate calibration is critical to your next round/level of game.  Body language is a pivotal unlock to your future success!  Good luck!

Sin

www.sinisback.com

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Tagged as: Body language, Calibration, Non-verbal communication, Sin