OK, I’m going to talk about something that may offend some people. It may especially offend some of the people marketing products to you on their blogs.
My opinion is that it’s time to dump the seduction community, pick-up artist secret society bullshit.
I mean, I fill my blog with the words pick-up artist, pua, seduction, lay report, field report, etc.
But you know what? It’s for the search engines.
Frankly I would be MORTIFIED if someone I actually knew considered me a pick-up artist.
“Edge! What are you saying???”
I’m saying that I’ve read all of the material. I’ve read the books, attended seminars, met guys who study this stuff and, most importantly, gone out and taken action frequently and consistently. And guess what? It’s all great stuff!
Because of seduction / pick-up artist products, I have improved my quality of life significantly.
But it hasn’t been a con-game. It hasn’t been through manipulation and using psychology techniques to fool women into hooking up with me.
No, it’s been through genuine self-improvement and through polishing my social skills, using these techniques.
“So wait, Edge, you’re saying that you do like seduction / pick-up artist products then?”
Well, I like the CONTENT for the most part. I do not like the over-arching presentation of it, which is that we need to get together underground, in a secret society and exchange manipulation tips. That studying this is no better than having a subscription to a porno website or magazine.
I am going to make my point VERY clear.
THIS IS SELF-IMPROVEMENT. THIS IS LEARNING SOCIAL SKILLS. THIS IS NOT FUCKING SOME BIZARRE FETISH PORNOGRAPHY. THERE IS NOTHING HERE TO BE ASHAMED OF.
The whole secret society bullshit is hurting guys who want to study this stuff. Guys very genuinely want to learn to be better with women, then they get caught up in this material, believing that learning this needs to be a secret and (by implication) that they are doing something shameful or wrong (because after all, why would something honorable and admirable need to be kept secret).
And I know some of you may pipe in, “Oh it’s to protect society. We’re like Jedis, we need to make sure this information isn’t available to just anyone.”
That is absolute BULLSHIT. This info is available to everyone… there’s no bar for getting the information other than $$. This is not some honorable secret society, like a group of superheroes or the Matrix or something.
I am going to be very clear about this – I have felt this way from the beginning, but it’s time for me to say it: Believing you are in a secret society and using that as a screen to connect with women through is FUCKING CREEPY. If you are doing it, you are going to creep girls out.
I’m speaking from a voice of experience there. When I first had exposure to this stuff, I looked at it like I was learning a secret bag of manipulative tricks and it needed to be kept secret. The result: Creepiness beyond all belief.
And I see other guys who believe they are part of a secret society doing this too. I am not saying this to criticize these guys – they’re good guys. But this is tough love from me… if you recognize yourself in this, trust me, dumping the secret society mentality and shifting to looking at it as just “self improvement” will help you out a lot.
To close: Looking at the “seduction community” as a community or a secret society is childish, it’s creepy, it’s ridiculous and it CREATES shame. Do yourself a favor and shift for your own benefit.
When you believe you are in a secret society to learn to pick-up women, you are buying into the idea that you belong to a SHAME COMMUNITY… There is nothing to be ashamed of in learning to become a better man.
Comments?
No related posts.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Another great insight.
I have pretty much abandoned that line of thought since about the second month I stumbled upon the community. It held me back and, as was stated in the article, made me feel creepy.
Do I believe that what I am doing is shameful? Absolutely not.
but it’s secret for a reason, a very good reason.
if you talk about this shit to people who are not int he community (community: there, I said it) they will stare at you like you are a complete jackass.
and if you tell some random guy about your “lair” and use a bunch of lingo it absolutely makes you sound like an idiot.
but you only sounds slightly less stupid if you talk about it without all that jazz – and I don’t enjoy being made to feel stupid
if you want to go on a one man crusade to bring pickup out of the shadows then go for it… but I am still going to ask my wings if a guy is “in the community” before I talk about this stuff with him.
and I am keeping my secret pickup artist ring that summons the power of Mystery when I touch it to my wing’s ring.
Hey CK,
You’re right that if you talk to a guy outside of the community about this stuff in community-style that he’ll look at you like a jackass – been there, done that… we probably have all done that.
At that same time, it’s not the technique or the game itself that weirds out guys outside the community. It’s the fact that you belong to a ‘community’, that you have a whole set of diagnostic tools and languaging and that you have what sounds like a Wile E. Coyote scheme to pick up women.
It comes across to an unexposed guy as try-hard and weird because he thinks, “I’m getting by just fine and this guy needs to study an entire seminar just to get anywhere with women,” when in fact you’re studying it because you want to be phenomenal, not just good or get by. To put it simply, when you tell them you studied something it comes across as you needing a crutch versus perfecting your style.
To be specific, if you use acronyms to a guy who doesn’t know this stuff, he’s going to wonder what you’re on. But if you just explain a ‘trick’ that you do that works for you and you don’t talk about where you learned it or any terms about it, that same guy will say, “That’s brilliant!! That’s so true, I’m going to do that!”
Guys love swapping secrets, tricks and techniques about picking up women – community or not. It all comes down to presentation.
But to your comment about bringing the community out of the shadows, that’s not my intent. I’d rather just present community material and take the shadows out of the community.
APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE
Let’s just learn and develop ourselves into the men we are destined to become.
I never gravitated to the whole lingo and frankly never sarged. I flirted a whole hell of a lot though.
Great article.
Thanks!
I agree completely know1. I don’t like the lingo although I use it extensively on here to get search hits but in “real” life I think it would be all better if we just drop it. With out the lingo its simply just dating and completely normal.
I agree completely know1. I don’t like the lingo although I use it extensively on here to get search hits but in “real” life I think it would be all better if we just drop it. With out the lingo its simply just dating and completely normal.
Edge… Just one thing: it’s good to know Your not alone in thinking about the society the way We do… Best wishes, Niko
Edge… Just one thing: it’s good to know Your not alone in thinking about the society the way We do… Best wishes, Niko
Thanks Niko – I appreciate it.
I read the thread on your forum.
Thanks Niko – I appreciate it.
I read the thread on your forum.
There is a creepiness to the community, and it’s not just the secret society aspect. It’s the lingo and the jargon, the exorbitant amounts of money people are willing to spend, the subconscious misogyny espoused by many of the methods, the way that many people reinvent themselves to be clones of their chosen “guru,” and frankly, websites where people use “call signs” or nicknames and that have pictures like those in the upper left corner of blog posts like on this page.
Don’t get me wrong; I have benefited tremendously from my journey, both in terms of my relationships with women, and in becoming a better person. But there is something dark and not quite right at the core if people hide behind monikers, or keep their involvement in the so-called “community” a secret from their real world friends and family.
But, love the post.
There is a creepiness to the community, and it’s not just the secret society aspect. It’s the lingo and the jargon, the exorbitant amounts of money people are willing to spend, the subconscious misogyny espoused by many of the methods, the way that many people reinvent themselves to be clones of their chosen “guru,” and frankly, websites where people use “call signs” or nicknames and that have pictures like those in the upper left corner of blog posts like on this page.
Don’t get me wrong; I have benefited tremendously from my journey, both in terms of my relationships with women, and in becoming a better person. But there is something dark and not quite right at the core if people hide behind monikers, or keep their involvement in the so-called “community” a secret from their real world friends and family.
But, love the post.