What we focus on will define all of our interactions. As I have become better and better with every week of practice, I find it is harder to detach myself from an outcome. The irony in all of this is that going out and doing this in itself is a paradox. You have to each have faith in yourself, but at the same time not put demands on yourself. But even still you have to take action. If you don’t expect anything from yourself, then you open the door to trying new things. This is a current sticking point I am working through.

For me it’s easier to open sets and test out new things if I don’t hold in my head that I am good at anything, even if sometimes I’m very good. This is a mental trick that I do to not experience approach anxiety, but not necessarily the end solution. I really need to get back and think about the long process and end game, not just worry about the here and now.

I believe the most important part about focusing on the process is that it will allow you to detach from individual actions where normally you may be intimidated by the girl because you really want her and you really want to work this time but in reality that is going to screw you up.

I believe that to really get good at this game we have to focus on the process and at the same time step back from our ego. The only way I currently know how to do that is to pretend that I really don’t know anything and just wing it. That’s what I practiced for many months and that’s where I saw the most success and quick improvement. It’s really all in our own heads. Everything that screws us up is inside our own heads. We can change it. I don’t think it is easy, but I rest with the hope that it is possible. Holding that paradox and focus on the end goal. The hot girl I see in front of me is just practice and one day I will build up my skills to get her. That is what it is all about working on the skill. That’s why I do it. Its all a journey and I have seen tons of change so I know that it is slowly working.

Related posts:

1. Edge - Outcome-oriented vs. Process-oriented Thinking
2. Legend - Scientific Gaming
3. Legend - There Is No End
4. Legend - Wasting Time
5. Legend - Feeling the Fear

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