I know this sounds like old school advice but I found that even now I think I still do it. I Think a lot of it comes down to as men we make a snap decision on whether we would sleep with a girl or not based purely on her looks. This doesn’t give us time to screen them and we have already given some of our power away without even noticing it.
If we want to be in the position of power we must be the chooser. We must see if she lives up to our standards and then we say yes.
If we make that decision yes I’d sleep with her before talking to her and then our minds are made up and we come from a position of wanting not one of screening.
Think a lot of old-school advice has said write out what you want in a women and then screen her for those qualities. But how many of us have done that?
I know I haven’t. Sure I’ve thought about it in my head but writing it down and making a list and then finding ways to qualify women to see if they fit into this list would be a much better form of solid game.
Going to add this to my personal to do list.
This will allow me to open with the intention of seeing if the girl fits into what I am looking for. Even if she doesn’t I can still get her if I choose later but an important part is that I don’t make up my mind and until after a start talking to her for a bit. This way I can maintain a position of power.
I think this will help a lot when I see a very attractive girl.
At first you look and sometimes your mind starts thinking almost if you are qualified or if your good enough to approach her and talk to her. Instead let’s skip the entire step by instilling what we want before we even go out. This way we can approach with the power and the point of qualifying them.
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Before, I used to re-frame my thinking and say that I should be on the pedestal. But I’ve come to realize that it’s not necessary. Of course, I am a catch but there are things that I have learned over time that I like/dislike. I want to make sure that the women I meet have as much of my likes as possible and as little dislikes.
Once I am in tune with my requirements, it’s so much easier for me to approach women. Women, may scan the place for her requirements, but as the male, I don’t mind going and seeking out my requirements.
The principles are the same, the methods are different. Just be careful not to get distracted and stay away from the pedestal.
I think a lot of it comes down to us lowering our standards more for sleeping with someone than we do for relationships. I know I do it. Afterall, I think we justify this with the fact that we can be done after that. Cause for some, shitty sex is a lot better than no sex, so we just go for it. And I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing always. When it comes to having a girl around for a while longer though, it becomes increasingly more important to vet her to make sure she is exactly what you want, or else you’ll wind up with a significant waste of your time, money, energy, etc. It can cause a lot of problems, and I think every guy has been in that situation, so we don’t need to go there. But sleeping with a girl, sometimes a guy will make a sacrifice. I guess you need to make that call on a case by case basis. But yes, I also agree that you should be working on being more selective.
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