Lately I feel as though my life resembles the beginning of Fight Club.
I don’t just hate my job. I loathe my job. I detest my job.
I work a 9 to 5 for a company nobody has ever heard of, doing work that nobody notices for a product that nobody cares about.
I started my job with the thought that I would just be there for a little while. This was going to be my job to hold me over until I found a better one. I mean, I have a degree from a good university, I have a strong skill set in high demand areas and I even enjoy doing the work in those areas.
But here I am, sitting in an office for 40 hours a week doing something that is basically glorified customer service to assist some of the dumbest people on earth.
Let me tell you something about customer service… Customer service representatives hate their jobs and when you are an asshole to them, they hate you. In fact, when a customer gives me shit, there is nothing I would like more than to hear the sound of screeching brakes, a horrified scream and then dead silence over the phone.
On the other hand, when you appreciate a customer service representative, they’ll bend over backwards to show you the most consideration and accommodation their job will allow.
That’s because appreciation, acknowledgment and understanding are rare in the day-to-day life of the customer service representative. I know it is for me.
My general day looks like this: I drag myself out of bed, despising the fact that I have to go to my job. One scene later, I’m sitting at my desk with a defeated look on my face, fighting the urge to strangle my cubicle-mate that speaks into his phone just-a-little-too-loud all the time.
The phone rings and some nameless faceless person is bitching about something that isn’t my fault. I soothe them through corporate euphemisms and platitudes and, with any luck, they shut up and disappear. Sooner or later, I’ll receive an e-mail or personal greeting from one of my bosses to tell me that something has gone wrong and they would like to blame me for it.
When I came into this job, I was brimming with confidence. I would interact with my co-workers with total self-assurance and even a hint of enjoyment. Work used to be fun, or at worst, decent. Then management changed and a raging bitch took over as my boss.
That was two years ago. Over that time, she’s chiseled my confidence down to the status of a whipped dog. I hate sounding like such a victim. I hate even writing this.
But I’m at the point where I want nothing more than to never work here again, but my confidence as a worker is so low that I don’t even want to try to look for another job. I feel so broken, frustrated and disappointed with my working-life that I can’t even bring myself to try and dig myself out of this hole.
It’s frustrating beyond all belief or logical comprehension. I know I hate my job. I know I could work somewhere else, get paid much more money than I make now and even enjoy what I’m doing. And yet, I just can’t force myself.
I’m bracing myself for the responses to this post already from people saying that I’m a pussy or that I need to man up and just do what needs to be done. Let me head this off at the pass and say, “Go fuck yourselves.”
Being great at pick-up does not solve everything.
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I hear you man.
I can completely relate to you when you say:
“I started my job with the thought that I would just be here for a little while. This was going to be my job to hold me over while I looked for a better job. I mean, I have a degree from a good university, I have a strong skill set in high demand areas and I even enjoy doing the work in those areas.”
You tell yourself you’re only doing this job as a stop-gap but the job, the commute, and finding time to socialise totally drains you. Even if you do ‘find the time’ at the end of the day to look for a new, better job (one that preferably requires the degree you spent thousands on) it’s the last thing you want to do – you just want to sleep!
I found myself falling into this pattern a few months back, so I quit my job. It was retail, which has it’s pros and cons against office work (pro: you meet new people every day; con: you’re standing on your feet all day). I’ve since relaxed for the past month, trying to work out what to do next. I’ve decided I want to start my own business. I’ve started working part-time again and will soon pick up back to full time in a different job, while working on my business during the evenings. It’ll be tough going, but avoiding monotony and boredom is the name of the game.
Let us know how things go in future posts!
That’s funny… I remember the old days when I had my first contacts with the PU community… I don’t remember who was saying it… but he said that getting better with women impacts all the areas of you life.
It’s amazing how you experience contradicts that mambo jambo.
Just a though… if you don’t like it, why don’t you try to get yourself fired… and if that’s hard… just ask someone’s help. A good phone call to your boss should get you fired in no time
Cheers,
Horia
I went through a similar thing with a female (lesbian) boss. Constant attacks on my self confidence, always being on edge around her, long verbal attacks from where she wouldn’t let up until she could see she was really getting to me. Plus she was technically clueless in an IT job.
When you finally get out of there, you’ll bounce back quickly. I think a little bit of that stuff does make you stronger, but that cliche ends after the first year.
Not that all male bosses are great – they aren’t – but in my experience women are fairly nasty to their male employees.
Thanks for the comments guys.
@Vim – I will keep you all posted. I’m in a real shitty mood tonight so there will probably be some more venom on the way. I did apply to some jobs though at the end of last week.
@Horia – I mean, I’m certainly glad I took care of the pick-up part of my life. I was obsessed with being successful at pick-up and now that I am, I’m able to focus on other things… like how much I hate my job. But no, I don’t want to get fired – that goes against how I am.
@Steve – yup, you definitely get where I am at. And I am PRAYING for that bounce back… oh man. I’m in such a shit mood that I don’t feel like finishing writing a lay report I started a couple days ago and that’s actually something positive.
Stay tuned…
The silverlining to think about is that there are quite a few number of people who have shitty jobs with lousy managers and who don’t get laid…
Maybe it’s time to focus your skills at some 30+ women who is in a position to hire you?
It’s true and even with all the frustration I feel at times, I still am grateful that I have that part of my life handled.
As for seducing the 30+ women to hire me? Shit… I should just focus my skills on going for the full on sugar mama.
I think I’m extremely hire-able when I’m not filled with anger and resentment about my life position. That’s what I am working on handling now.
I’ll bitch in these journal entries, but I would never complain without pushing myself to make some kind of game plan toward improvement.
Wow, I feel like I could have written this, we are in very similar positions. Though I’m not in customer service, I am in accounting which sucks just as much, like wanting to smash my head into the keyboard everyday.
Speaking of sugar-mamas, that might not be a bad idea. About a year ago I was seeing this rich cougar who would basically come over my place with all kinds of beer, food and sex…. man, I don’t know how I let her get away, but at the time it was the life:)
Hang in there, I’m sure you’ll find greener pastures soon enough. Hopefully me too!
@Matt Savage – Thanks man. I’ve never done accounting, but I could imagine it sucking. I know for myself (and you might be the same way) I want a job that is transformative and not just running on a treadmill.
I mean, at best, I get the customer to shut up and leave me alone. But there’s no sense of “building a better future” or working toward anything. Maybe that sounds a bit cheesy, but it’s important to me. Right now it’s just a grind.
I don’t have a sugar mama at the moment, but I have a few low-maintenance girlfriends so I really can’t complain.
Good luck to you too man. You give a lot of value to men through your blog (themodernsavage.com).
That’s tough man. Even though I enjoy my job, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve had jobs before where I secretly wished the place would burn down like the end of Office Space. Hang in there. Hope you find something better.
I am very successful and I still hate my job. I’ll go as far as telling you that if you watch any channel on television you have seen my work. I guess most people would think my job is cool and fun, especially since I am so good at it.
It could be worse I guess. but if I were like the 10,000,000 people out there, maybe more, who would kill to be me, then I could imagine it would be amazing.oh well, i’m getting a different career soon
I hear you man! It’s depressing, but at the same time somewhat reassuring, that there are other people with similarly pointless, miserable jobs with insane raging bitches for bosses. I won’t bore you here with her catalogue of insanity. Suffice it to say that her abuse behavior sank to a level where I was actually compelled to report her to hr for shoving me against a wall and seating me under a potted plant and proceeding to berate me as if I were a not-too-bright two year old. For that she has now retaliated with mental torture. I fear seeking another job because she’d like nothing better than to give me a shitty reference, and she is protected like teflon by using the old nepotism network. So much for fair and equitable employment legislation.
Yeah, I know how you feel and am in a similar position. I have a psychology degree, good marks, lots of medical experience and yet Im stuck in a cubicle 8 hours a day. I left working at a pharmacy for a better paying corporate job, like you I thought it was fun at first. Now I realize how much I dont fit in and resent every day of work. Im planning on starting my own business…my DREAM. I hate working for “the system” and would love to have my own business and be my own boss. doing something Im proud to be doing, something i love, somethign im good at.
@angry pharm tech – You know man, I really feel for where you’re at right now.
This is almost a year after I wrote this point and I’m in a great spot now. I love the work I do now.
Working at a job that I hated was killing me in many ways. It took quite a psychological toll on me which didn’t immediately heal after leaving the job, but is now completely fine now.
If I could have told myself something 10 years ago, I would have told myself to make sure at all costs to surround myself with great, inspirational and supportive people.
I take personal responsibility for myself and my decision to stay was my decision. Truth be told, I didn’t realize how damaging it was for me to be around people who just wanted to bring me down for no reason (other than… their own unhappiness I guess).
I hope your job situation improves. If you set your sights on making a better situation, you can do it. Start your dream man… and surround yourself with other people who are committed to living their dream too. Seriously.