Becoming a Pickup Artist – A Core Skills Guide to Game by Pick-Up Evolution Part 5 Part A:
Introduction: Starting a conversation can be a simple as walking up and saying Hi or we can get really complicated talking about Pick-up Lines, many different types of Openers, and Opening routines.
Then we have different classifications which are basically all about how much interest your showing and what type of frame your coming from.
Legend:
The Goal: Opening
In this section, I am going to talk about openers and give you some examples. The goal for this section is to get you familiar with openers and opening routines so that you can go out and practice starting conversations with the sole goal of just starting a conversation.
The purpose of an opener is just to create situational comfort, unless you “go direct” (that is, open the conversation with a statement that directly communicates your interest in the woman). When you’re in a bar, you are just another random person at the bar. You want to create a dialogue between you and a girl where she is comfortable talking you.
The point of openers is just to get a girl or the group comfortable talking to you.
Edge:
A note on pick-up lines
A lot of guys think that the power in meeting women in bars is in the pick-up line they use. I know this because men are constantly e-mailing us about it!
Yes, Legend and I have some stock lines that we open conversations with, but we don’t look at them like “pick-up lines”. We look at them as conversation starters… something to move us from not talking to the women into talking with them. That’s it – an opener should just be a quick 30-second pop just to get the ball rolling.
Pick-up lines are not my preference because I think they’re cheesy, they’re contrived and worse, they are perceived to be the source of the man’s conversational power instead of the man himself.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Lately, I’ve been all about Woody Allen’s quote, “80 percent of success is just showing up.”
I personally think that it applies here. Guys need to realize that starting conversation gets out 80 percent closer to success. Once you bypass the opener, you’re already almost there because the acceptance of your presence is a sign of some type of attraction. You use the other 20 percent to figure out what kind of attraction it is and you build on that.
And when you get in there, you don’t need some elaborate line that sweeps everyone in sight. The primary goal is to insert yourself in the social group. Once you’re in, you can proceed accordingly with implementing strategy of getting the woman of choice.
On top of all that, I’m sure Legend and Edge will mention that part of the key to openers is authenticity. It’s the main reason why guys get rejected when they try to open a group. You have to mean what you say or else your words will disappear in the atmosphere.
Awesome post, Infinity (as usual).
More and more lately, I’m moving towards a model of pick-up where I have an entourage that I’m out with. Going out with people is great because it takes away neediness (you don’t need to seek out a stranger to have fun), you can be more authentic because you’re among your group and, all in all, other groups know that you’re not going to be a social leech because they know you’ve got your own group – you’re just being social.
Makes opening easier and more authentic for me too, cause I’m only going to bother if I see someone interesting, versus opening to “get warmed up”. Social groups get me warm when they’re the right kind of group (as in, not afraid to meet people).
Regardless though, I totally agree on the 80/20 rule as you apply it to making the approach. No matter if you came by yourself or with 100 people, the most critical piece to success is just doing the opener AT ALL.
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