Pick-up Evolution

Edge - How I AMOG (Establish Myself as the Alpha male)

Edge — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 15:59:22 +0000

Today I’m going to visit a topic that a lot of guys who study pick-up talk about: being the AMOG (Alpha male of the group) or AMOGing (establishing yourself as the alpha male of the group).

There’s plenty of reasons this topic gets a lot of attention. For one, a lot of guys get into learning pick-up because they read “The Game” and they loved the imagery of ex-nerds stealing the girlfriends of the popular/attractive guys and muscly jerks. Moreover, there is nothing worse than some asshole coming along and making you look stupid in front of a bunch of hot women. On top of that, there’s the simple fact that women are inherently attracted to the leader archetype - the guy who calls the shots and answers to no one.

Now when you get right down to it, I had some reservations before I really explored the concept of AMOGing. I felt like AMOGing was putting other guys down (being an asshole) or making other guys look stupid (again, being an asshole) or fighting against other guys when they threatened you (again… being an asshole). But all of these things are NOT what an AMOG would do.
To establish yourself as the AMOG, I believe that there are a few things you must have in order.

First, you must be decisive. Your decisions don’t need to be right, but they need to be made definitively, without hesitation or trepidation. This is a trait you need adopt in yourself if you do not already have it. Think about it, it would look very strange if you were passive and hesitant in making judgments and then, all of a sudden, you turned on decisiveness when you felt your AMOG status was threatened.

Next, there’s an inner game of the AMOG. Whenever someone talks shit, they have to “taste it” first. In other words, when someone has some sort of shitty thought towards you, they feel the shitty emotion associated with it. BUT YOU DO NOT NEED TO REACT TO THEIR ACTIONS/STATEMENTS/ETC.

In fact, a negative thought only has power if you react to it. When someone does something shitty towards you, they’re expectation is that they will trigger a negative thought in you and then you’ll react to that thought. If you do not react to what they’re doing or any internal negative thoughts, they will have NO POWER over you. Whether they’re trying to trigger thoughts of embarassment, insecurity, fear, anger or anything else, if you do not react they will have no power over you whatsoever.

You simply ignore the negative statement or action. Sometimes, if it’s a person trying to break into your conversation or group, you just ignore them completely. What ends up happening is that the person blows themselves out of the interact without you doing anything. You simply do not even acknowledge the existence of something or someone that you would not readily choose or want as part of your reality.

Legend is amazing at this. There was one night, Legend was talking to a gorgeous girl outside of a club. A particularly nasty homeless guy just interrupted them and started asking for money in an obnoxious way. Legend completely ignored him, to the point where you wouldn’t even know someone was there if you were only watching Legend. Within seconds, the girl shifted and it was as if the homeless man disappeared for both of them. The homeless man started pushing Legend on the shoulder and saying nasty things. Legend did not acknowledge him whatsoever and the homeless guy walked away. No conflict, no harm done. Legend made him disappear by not even acknowledging him.

Since then, I have seen Legend do this to guys that are double his size! Legend does not entertain the existence of anything or anyone negative in his environment and as a result, he does not get AMOGed. Like I said before, when someone deals out shit, they have to taste it for themselves first. And there’s only so much a guy is willing to taste before he gives up on trying to make you look like a failure and starts feeling like a failure himself.

Tyler Durden, who is widely held as the “father of the AMOG” recommends an additional way to AMOG: Just interpret their action as them joking around with you, like they’re you’re close buddy with your best interests in mind. Just laugh and act like it was a joke and your positive energy and interpretation will make it appear that this was his intent in the first place. Even the guy who tried to put you down will interpret it that way since otherwise he’d feel like an asshole in front of everyone.

One thing to avoid if you want to be an AMOG is thinking negative thoughts about people in general, but especially people you view as adversaries. When you feel like you are competing against people, you run the risk of thinking negative thoughts about them. And when you think negative thoughts about them, you are on a slippery slope to becoming reactive towards them and their actions.

Being reactive is the quickest way to appear out of control, also known as NOT the alpha male. Muhammad Ali used to egg on the boxers fighting against him before his matches. He would do everything he could to provoke his competitor into passionately hating him. As a result, his competitor would be overrun with his emotions and blind with rage. This was a brilliant way for Muhammad to weaken his enemies and he used it time and again. But remember, this only worked because his competitors reacted to it.

I would say leave thinking negative thoughts to the chumps and think great thoughts about everyone. Or at the very least, avoid thinking negative thoughts about others - in the end, it only works against you. At the same time, if you want to take the route of provoking others to react, it is an effective method, but I do not recommend it. Easier to just have them disappear without having to do anything.

Edge - What I Learned in 2008

Edge — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:48:16 +0000

Rest in peace, 2008. You were a great year.

I want to take a moment and review some of the key personal experiences and insights that contributed to my learning in 2008. Some of these learnings were fresh insights that I had never had before. Others were things I had read about countless times, but didn’t truly understand until I had personal experience with them. Granted, I had more than 20 learnings in 2008, but these are the first 20 that came to mind, so they made the grade.

Here, in no particular order, are twenty realizations, epiphanies and learnings from 2008.

1. Thoughts are real forces. Every single thought has an effect.

2. Starting is the hardest part. Once I’ve started, taking action is much easier.

3. Never ever talk about game when I’m out “in the game”. Game now, analyze later. (This is why Legend and I never talk about this stuff when we’re out - we just have a good time.)

4. Drink plenty of water. Oatmeal, almonds and green tea are also fantastic to consume frequently.

5. Every choice I make determines the direction my next actions will go in. (A small action in the wrong direction can avalanche.)

6. My thoughts determine my personal vibration (my “vibe”). When I think great, positive thoughts about everyone, people get a “good vibe” from me. The thoughts I think matter far far more than my actions in a social setting.

7. For some people, there is no limit to what they will lie about.

8. Ruthlessly believe the reality I want to believe about myself, no matter how psychotic it mean seem at first. It will inevitably become real, eventually.

9. What’s arousing to women does not always look “pretty” or “nice” on the surface. However, everything I do and say can be from a genuine place of love and compassion. (Hence, using push and pull as a conversational technique.)

10. Women can act very convincingly that they do not like something, when they are in fact getting quite turned on. Pupil dilation taught me this.

11. When I have great success in a new area, it does not mean that I can stop practicing. Just because I can curl a 50 lb dumbbell does not mean you can stop. (I’m speaking metaphorically - I wish I could curl a 50 lb dumbbell.)

12. When I feel it’s time to physically escalate an interaction with a woman, I should act on that feeling immediately. The times I have, it has worked out wonderfully. The times I have not, the interaction evaporated.

13. If I don’t want to end up feeling attached to a girl, see more than one girl at a time.

14. Girls will still date me even though I am clearly not exclusive with them. In fact, it seems to make me more attractive in their eyes. (Some girls have even outright admitted this.)

15. When a girl messages me or friends me on Myspace/Facebook, she wants to hook up with me.

16. A daily yoga routine is outstanding for my own mental presence, handling set backs and maintaining a general sense of life being great.

17. Some girls really truly can be insane. But the majority are wonderful, practical and do have perspective when I treat them well (and I always try my best to.)

18. Sleeping with a bunch of women does not mean that I’m over an ex-girlfriend. I’m over a girl when I no longer entertain thoughts or heartache over her being gone.

19. Confidence really does make all the difference. Sometimes things looked pretty bad on the surface, but because I refused to believe anything other than that the woman was quite captivated and turned-on by me, she ended up taking on that reality herself in the end! I am continually amazed at the power holding an unwavering reality can have in my social interactions.

20. Giving value to people is the ultimate social currency. When I have the ability to give someone something of value to them, I will have social value in their eyes. That can be anything from being funny, to throwing parties, to simply connecting on an interesting topic.

Edge - Evolving Links 01.03.09

Edge — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 07:14:04 +0000

Happy New Year everyone! Here are the latest interesting articles I’ve found in the realm of dating, relationships, picking up women and everything in between.

As for Pick-up Evolution, Legend and I will be back to posting fresh content very soon.

The Modern Savage: Pick Up Artist » Finding Out Your Friend is a Pickup Artist

It’s New Year’s Eve Eve. The one night when everyone is resting up for the big night tomorrow, we are starting a full day in advance. What can I say, we’re hardcore. A cute bartender drops a pair of 22 ounce goblets in front of us. We clink the glasses together and raise them to our mouths. Delicious. “I think … [Link]

eSeduce » Why isn’t she calling you back? by Roosh

Roosh is the author of Roosh Bang. Here’s an article by him on why girl’s sometimes won’t return your voicemail… ______ Why isn’t she calling you back? by Roosh You spend two hours talking to a girl in a bar and she absolutely loves you. She’s touching you, your faces get close, and you almost make out with her. No … [Link]

Captain Jack’s Grande Adventures » Just Say Yes.

So I’m walking through the biography section of the bookstore and I come across a book that catches my eye. I’m a bit skeptical but something about it makes me want to take a closer look. I open to the Prologue and I read this: It was nearly midnight. I was standing in the rain, outside [...] [Link]

PUA Training Blog » Get the girls you want

I’m going to start 2009 by saying something controversial Rating girls from 1 to 10 is stupid. Let me tell you my reasons for thinking this. Looks are personal – something I’ve noticed is that the more choice guys have with women, the more varied their tastes. When I’m out with the other PUATraining instructors, rarely do we agree on … [Link]

Robbo’s Flirting Blog » Grounding

Have you ever heard a woman say “I just want a guy that is grounded?” If you have, then that is a woman that knows what she is talking about. Recently, I’ve been doing a ton of work on grounding with my students and on myself. The changes I’ve seen have been incredible in a very short amount of time. … [Link]

eSeduce » Mystery on Peacocking

Here’s a classic video of Mystery from a seminar back in the day discussing peacocking… Did you catch the young Tyler Durden in this clip? No matter how other gurus try to strategically market peacocking as “creepy”… the truth is that it WORKS… Venusian Arts has since distanced themselves from the term “peacocking”, instead referring to it as “creating your … [Link]

Seduction Chronicles Dating Tips » Get Your Man Paws Off Her

I just had a question from a client about bringing touch into the conversation. Here’s what he asked: “so you’re talking to a woman, and she starts touching you a little bit, how do you touch her back? And when is it okay to start the touch?” Here is how I feel about touch: it has to be a comfortable … [Link]

PUA Training Blog » The Perfect Place To Pick Up Girls In State…..

Just a quick one…. I have a couple of weeks off from my busy timetable so I will try and post a little more as I don’t always manage to get to share as much as I would like guys One of the many objectives a PUA has is to get a girl ‘in state’ as when a girl is … [Link]

PUA Training Blog » Progression In Game

OK dudes, this post is about how game naturally progesses for a serious pickup artist. The game starts out macroscopic and then gradually becomes smaller and smaller until it becomes infinitely microscopic. It can be frustrating for the experienced seducer to have to teach a complete beginner, because has to teach the macroscopics as the beginner just isn’t ready for … [Link]

PUA Training Blog » How Attraction Really Works

Hey guys, while I know the topic of attraction has all but been beaten to death, It’s important that you have a simple, yet clear, understanding on how it works. The first question to ask is what IS attraction? I’ve found it to be two key things. The first being Value, which every pick up method and style uses, and … [Link]

Seduction Labs » Sexual fantasies can trigger sneezing

Sneezing usually occurs in response to nasal irritation, which triggers a reflex that expels air at speeds of about 150 Km/h. But new research has linked sexual thoughts in some people to sneezing, and it seems that the phenomenon may be more common than the medical profession previously realised. The researchers who investigated the condition suggest [...] [Link]

Seduction Labs » Beer goggles-effect lasts longer for women

It’s well known that members of the opposite sex appear to become more attractive the more you drink. But, according to a new study, women who drink even moderately experience a reduced ability to rate attractiveness in male faces, even after they are sober. The research, carried out by Dr Kirsten Oinonen of Lakehead University, in [...] [Link]

Edge - Every Choice We Make is a Direction

Edge — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 14:07:22 +0000

I was talking with Legend recently and we were in a discussion about sticking points, motivation and momentum in the realm of picking up women and general self-improvement.

Every choice we make is not just a single event in a vacuum. No, every choice we make sets the direction of our momentum.

As Legend has said, the more you do something, the more you will WANT to continue doing that thing. Just to set the context, this applies to things that you know you should do to progress towards our goals, but just haven’t been doing.

Amidst the hashing, we started talking about how if we choose the good action and at least start, we’re able to keep going with it, without problem. At the same time, if we choose something counter to what will get us to our goal (e.g. playing a video game instead of going out, surfing Facebook instead of studying how to improve our game, etc.), it becomes even HARDER to pursue our goal and we’re even less motivated to start doing it.

Oh yeah, and the example that hits home the most: When we do strike up a conversation with a new woman, it gets that much easier to approach more women. When we see a girl we want and don’t approach, it gets much harder to approach after that.

Choices are a slippery slope, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It can work to our advantage when you respect this law.

This is just another reason why we want to be social immediately when we enter the bar. There’s no cheating - you can’t just take action when you feel like it. If you try, you’ll never get anything better than lukewarm motivation. But if you ruthlessly pursue taking the right action, again and again and REFUSE to take actions that are in the opposite direction of your goals, then you will very quickly gain momentum and reach that state Legend refers to, where you feels like you can do anything.

Thoughts?

Edge - Totally Letting Go of my Past Relationship

Edge — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 14:05:46 +0000

The other night I had a conversation with my ex-girlfriend. Doesn’t happen often - frankly she’s been cold with me for many months now and it’s clear that even the friendship that we once had has gone sour. I’ve wanted to hold onto the hope that we’d be able to at least stay friends and have some kind of closeness, but it’s clear that it’s time for me to let go.

So what is letting go? Letting go is refusing to feed the thoughts about another person anymore. Just refusing to entertain them. Whether that means just being unreactive when the thought comes up or thinking about something (anything) else… When I stop entertaining thoughts on anything, it takes the emotional wind out of that thought’s sails and it disappears.

In my mind, I still remember all the great times we had together. I remember the ups and the downs and I don’t regret any of it. Sure, there were lessons learned on both our parts and things each of us would have done differently, but really the relationship was amazing. I still hold her in the most loving place in my thoughts.

But in her mind, I am not that. When we talk, she’s been cold and barely says anything more than a few sentences on the few occasions where one of us messages the other. And I know she knows exactly how she’s coming across - I know she knows she’s being cold. She’s made enough displays of “not caring” to sufficiently demonstrate that she no longer has any lovingness left in her heart towards me.

And realizing this disturbs me. It disturbs me because I’ve had people who I was very close with fade away over time until we drifted apart completely. I never expected one of her to be one of those people.

But feeling disturbed is not that bad in the grand scheme of relationship pain. Breaking up with her was really painful and took me a while to really, legitimately move on from her. Sure, I met other women even before I “moved on”, but I did not have my shit together. My lifestyle had been molded to being in a relationship with her and having her around. Living alone was a new situation and I had to adjust.

But in April, I decided to start finally pursuing my dream of shaping my life on my terms. After a month and a half, I started Pick-up Evolution to start tracking my thoughts and journey.

I’ve spent the last 8 months developing myself, meeting new women and formulating new projects to improve my life situation. It’s been amazing and I am quite happy, inspired and content with my life as it is.

Even still, I never totally gave her up. We’ve been apart for about a year now, but I never ejected her from the place in my heart where I hold someone that I love and see as my one and only partner in crime. I’ve held onto it because I hoped that we would be able to stay friends and still have at least a piece of what we had in the past.

The truth is, I am wasting my time and energy. I have tried, time and again, to reconnect with her and she is not receptive to it. I wanted to have her in my life, but I definitely don’t need it.

When I say this, it’s not out of anger or frustration. Sure, I think it’s a little sad, but I’m over it… The fact is, by keeping her in that place of my mind, I am making myself vulnerable to someone who no longer has my best interests in mind. Whatever her reasons are, they are not my problem. But she is putting herself first and it’s only sensible that I do the same.

Am I shutting the door on her? No, she is always welcome in my life and will always have my support. But I am all tapped out of my hope (or at this point even my caring) for whether or not she comes back. I have a line for what I will accept from another person (especially someone I have opened up to) and unfortunately leaving myself open to her is no longer a good option for me.

I do want her to be happy and I want good things to happen in her life. But it’s time for me to clear her out of my mind completely - I can’t carry around someone in my mind who doesn’t want to be there.

So this was more of a journal post than most of what I’ve posted on this blog, but hopefully it is helpful to all of you out there. In future posts, I’m going to talk about how I’ve made it a point to stop romanticizing heartache/pain and also about carrying around mental baggage in general.

Thoughts?

Legend - Scientific Gaming

Legend — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 16:22:49 +0000

Mystery’s approach to gaming is very inspiring. One of the major elements to his game that I want to integrate into myself is the ability to think of everything as practice. Somehow to detach my ego from each individual interaction.

If you look at everything scientifically, almost like a social experiment, you can remove the rejection element. I believe in fully embracing rejection on one side, but at the same time there must be a way to look at everything as just practice. Get rid of the whole rejection frame. This will allow us to really go after the girl that we really want. We are all here to develop a skill set. Once I integrate this, everything will be much easier. I believe the key to it is detaching your EGO from each and every interaction. This will allow us to really pull ourselves back out of the interaction and at the same time push each interaction without the outcome weighing on us.

If you go up to a girl and it doesn’t go well and you feel that it is a reflection on yourself, then it’s going to hurt your ego. On the other side, if you look at it is an experiment with your stories and how you deliver them, then really if you get rejected then it’s just your sales pitch that got rejected.

I don’t like the word rejected. It implies a negative connotation. I think the key is to embrace rejection wholeheartedly, but at the same time look at everything as practice. Just another set where you are trying to figure out how your game works.

I really want to get into refraiming rejection, so it doesn’t have a negative connotation.

Edge - Using Beliefs and Frames: The Art of Intentional Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Edge — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 14:02:25 +0000

One of my favorite concepts in self-improvement and seduction is the concept of frames. I think that frames and beliefs are closely intertwined, so I decided to post about them together.

When I think of the concept of frames and beliefs, I think of Richard Bandler (co-founder of NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming), Ross Jeffries (founder of Speed Seduction) and Swinggcat (writer of Real World Seduction). These are the guys that I feel taught me the most about frames and they deserve credit for their work.

What I want to talk about today is a recent thought I had about frames and beliefs.

See, it’s not uncommon for people talk about self-fulfilling prophecies. I think everyone would agree that when someone has shitty beliefs and expects the worst, they are most likely to get exactly what they expect.

But I don’t think people typically think about self-fulfilling prophecies in the positive sense. But why not? If we already believe there’s such thing as “believing something and then it comes true”, why aren’t we using this to our advantage??? Think about it! This is the idea of thoughts becoming reality - that’s like a holy grail in self-development, self-improvement.

My perception is that people believe that would be “too good to be true”. That’s what I originally felt, at least.

Or if they do think that self-fulfilling prophecies could benefit people if they’re holding good believes, I think another limiting belief is, “I can’t change what I believe. My beliefs are what they are and if I try to convince my mind otherwise, my mind will believe it’s bullshit and immediately reject it.” This was another thought I had at first.

But enough great teachers and mentors recommended I start taking on beliefs and frames that are strategic, even if it feels completely psychotic and unnatural to hold those beliefs and frames at first.

For example, believing that women see me as the prize that they want to reach for and chase felt really unnatural at first. I felt like it was a total and complete act, but I committed to it fully and just experimented.

My results were much better than the results I had previously been getting. By holding the beliefs and frames and refusing to crack, I had created a self-fulfilling prophecy: The women saw me as that “prize” and they DID chase me.

Now using beliefs and frames is a central part of what I use to be successful.

I will expand on this in future posts, but I’m going to talk real quick here about how I think about frames and beliefs and how I install these beliefs into my mind so they become “real” and a part of me.

With beliefs, I think of them as strategies. First, I ask myself, “What would be the most empowering reality for me if it were currently true?” An example of this would be to believe that women LOVE me.

Now starting out my belief was that certain women in certain circumstances liked me. But to believe that ALL women LOVE me… wow, that would be a stretch… but it would be a great, empowering reality! So I decide that that’s what I’m going to install. Now how do I make it real and natural for me to believe it, so that it becomes a part of me?

I start by setting time aside each day and affirm the belief to myself. I’ll take five minutes and just keep repeating to myself, “Women LOVE me.” Over and over again, just keep repeating it and making it my only thought. Other thoughts come up, but I just continually return to my affirmation / mantra… “Women LOVE me, Women LOVE me, Women LOVE me…”

As I’m doing this, I am imagining myself moving through the world and women are looking at me and smiling, sending me great, loving vibes. They are loving my energy, my appearance, my attitude, my way of being, my way of talking, the things I talk about… And I am feeling it as if I already have this reality - I am imagining that it’s already real.

Then, when I’m out in the world, I interpret EVERYTHING from the frame (or attitude, or perspective, whatever you want to call it) that it is evidence that she loves me. Even if it seems completely psychotic to believe it, I do not waver in my frame that everything she’s doing is evidence that she loves me and that women in general love me.

The results I’ve experienced is that over a period of time, women end up buying into this reality! As I practice holding a frame, the time it takes for them to buy into the reality becomes less and less until it’s almost automatic in most interactions… and when it’s not, it’s automatic for me to hold the frame and it’s effortless.

I’m writing about this because I have found it to be so powerful and so helpful that I want to inspire all of you to start exploring it if you haven’t yet. I also wanted to take the concept of beliefs and frames from being just a concept and make it tangible and visceral, so you can have a feel for how it’s useful, what it’s like to experiment with it and how results come around. Hopefully I achieved that.

Post up any questions you have - I love this topic and if I can clarify something I said here, I’m happy to do it.

Legend - Rock bottom

Legend — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 15:15:25 +0000

I hit this some time ago but I wanted to get it up here. I think that losing pickup skill can be common. I feel that going backward in your development is sometimes part of forward development. I think it is a common occurrence that no one wants to talk about. This has been on the back burner for a while but I want to finish writing it and get it out there so hopefully it can help some of you guys and I can make sense of it myself.

For a long time I was doing really well. I had a solid structure and a solid path and had it in my mind of what to do. It was almost as if I was climbing a mountain and had reached the first Peak. I looked out over all that I had accomplished and then went about undoing everything good I had just accomplished. When I look back and think what went through my subconscious mind is I don’t need to be working so hard anymore. Through out the first three months of writing about my experiences I was putting in tons of energy into changing myself. Lots of time and lots of energy. Then all of a sudden I started to get results. They started to become good results. I could get almost any girls phone number and I could open and get into a good conversation with almost anyone in the club. Many nights Edge and I pulled girls back to the house. Then something in me shifted. Looking back on it now I think my brain went look at all this good stuff you can do now. You don’t have to work so hard to change yourself anymore. Look its already working so chill out. Little did I realize that the very work I was doing was getting me the results. They had not become habit yet. I hadn’t fully changed.

My brain went this is silly “Let’s just be natural.” This marked the day of my descents back down the other side of the mountain. Slowly I stopped doing what worked and started being my natural self. Needless to say I slowly digressed to a point where I could not approach.

My natural self was the person that I had been conditioning myself to be over the last 10 years. The very person I wanted to fully change. A person that didn’t go after what he wanted. One that was a quiet shy person. So me being me is not something I wanted.

It is human nature to be lazy. It is something I feel that we should always monitor so we don’t slip backward. To evolve we always have to be pushing forward and upward. Never stopping until we are dead.

When we are trying to change ourselves I believe it takes tons of energy and time since we are changing years of conditioning. I don’t know if we can fully undo it but hopefully one day I can. I know one thing, I won’t stop trying. This snap back effect is something to be aware of and then it can be avoided. The solution I found to this problem is just to continue to actively put effort into trying new thing and continually remembering to do the things that work. They are all building blocks and you can’t stop doing them when they are working.

Edge - Getting Started is the Hardest Part

Edge — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 14:56:46 +0000

Two topics we regularly visit on this journal are discipline and taking action. And with New Years just around the corner, I think all of can benefit from the feeling of a fresh start.

Why do we return to talking about these things again and again? It’s because I don’t get skills or progress from reading about them. I get them from taking continuous, consistent action until it’s drilled into my mind as a well-practiced part of me.

Sure, I can get enthusiastic and inspired. Those are great things to feel. But if I do not take action and endure the temporary pain of whatever it is, I will not make progress or move forward. If it wasn’t uncomfortable or painful to me in some way, I would have already done whatever it is I haven’t done yet!

In any self-improvement venture, there is something I can do everyday to move forward in that area. I have had success moving forward rapidly in some areas and little to no progress in other areas.

For example, working on this website is fun for me, but it takes work. Still, I put consistent time into it every day and I feel good about what Legend and I have created.

On the other hand, I know that writing down all of my best conversational material (stories, sound bites, funny things to say, etc.) would be a helpful way for me to improve with women, but I do not put any time into writing down my thoughts.

There are all sorts of reasons why this could be…

Maybe I have a barrier for success - like, maybe if I become as successful as I could be with women, I am afraid of something happening (like having no free time or being put in situations I don’t think I can handle, etc.)

Maybe I just feel like it’s a project whereas I view web design and journaling as fun.

Maybe I am just not in the habit of working on that, whereas I am in the habit of maintaining Pick-up Evolution.

Regardless, the reason does not matter! I could spend all day trying to figure out what my reason for inaction is (all the meanwhile, taking no action!)

My experience is that it’s best to just start taking “right action” (as Tyler calls it in “The Blueprint Decoded”) and then let my mind come up with ways and reasons to support me later. Sometimes that means FORCING myself and refusing to listen to my own mental bullshit excuses.

I have boiled down my action plan and I am posting it here so that you all can hold me accountable to it. I will give you each of my steps and I’m going to encourage you to do it to and post your experience. It is simple and action-focused.

Here are the steps:

1) Think of what I want to have or achieve.

2) Determine what action must be taken to get there.

3) Devote 30 minutes every day to that action.

Now I know some of you out there are rolling your eyes saying, “Really? That’s your brilliant plan, Edge? Come on, that is so simplistic and stupid it’s laughable.”

Listen. This is why I am posting this.

What I am talking about here is taking action every single day. Not when you feel like it. Not just during the week when you’re in your routine, then ditching it on the weekends. Not “when you have time”.

When I commit to taking daily action without compromise, something shifts in me internally. It’s the without compromise part that makes a difference. So often I have a tendency to do things when I feel like doing them… and as a result they NEVER get done. This 3-step guide is about ensuring that my goals will be met eventually because I will get there if I really am putting in the time.

I think when it comes to goals, people are much more likely to simply not pursue them than they are to actually pursue them then fail. I know for me this is true.

“But Edge, 30 minutes is barely anything! How are you going to get there if you’re only putting 30 minutes in a day?” I’m not - I’m saying at least 30 minutes and in reality (when I’ve followed this plan) I have always spent more than 30 minutes on the action at hand. But if I go into saying, “Hey, it’s only 30 minutes,” then I know I can handle it and I’ll at least start.

I know I’ll get there if I at least START the necessary action, every single day.

Let me hear your thoughts - leave me some comments.

Edge - Technology’s Effect on Social Skills for “Digital Natives”

Edge — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 14:50:04 +0000

I recently read an article on Yahoo! News about how scientists believe our technology could be “rewiring our brains”.

Feel free to check it out here: Scientists ask: Is Technology Rewiring Our Brains?

The article was interesting, but fairly superficial - it did not get into specifics of how exactly they believe the brain is being rewired.

Now I am totally in the “digital native group”. I’ve been on computers all my life. I wrote my first program in BASIC when I was in first grade. I’ve been downloading MP3s since 1998. I played the original Warcraft before it had it’s own world.

And yeah, I do believe that technology is pulling away the younger generations (below 30 years old) from developing core social skills. It’s reasonable to think that if someone spends less time with people in social settings they’re going to have less social skills and less “street smarts” than someone who spends plenty of time in social situations. That’s a no-brainer.

On the other hand, I think that any “re-wiring” of our brains is a good thing. Humans and societies at large are continuing to evolve. Evolution means adaptation, and that means change! Change is good… but news has a tendency to cast any change in a “doomsday”-esque light.

They can argue that spending less time in social situations results in less social skills. However, I think it is a mistake to say that technology rewires our brains in a way that blocks social skills or hinders social skills. When they use phrases like “parents are worried, scientists are concerned”, it makes it sound like technology is harming us. It’s not - what’s “harming” us is NOT having a social life.

Technology is helping us - we have a wealth of information available to us thanks to our modern technology. There’s no reason a person can’t have a thriving social life AND use technology to the fullest. Hell, if we didn’t have today’s technology, this website would not exist!

At the heart of the matter, the message is that if you don’t spend time in social situations regularly, you will have sub-par social skills. But it’s nothing that can’t be repaired and improved dramatically, to the point where that same person can develop above average social skills with consistent focus and practice.

But it won’t happen through reading books about it and spending time online with the “seduction community”. Books and forums can help inspire - and that has a lot of value, but only IF you take that inspiration and go into social situations regularly and consistently with it.

Bottom line: My solution to improving skills with people is to spend plenty of time with people.