I decided I’m going to start posting again here with some consistency.
Where did I go? What was I doing for the past… hmm… almost 7 months that kept me off of regularly posting here.
Well, as some of you may have noticed, I have had some changes of heart about the concepts that are most prevalent in the seduction / PUA / pick-up artist community. Some of you balked at what I had to say, some of you agreed and some of you said, “Quit whining… If you don’t like it, change it!” And I said I would and I will keep that promise.
Even still, it took me a while to reconcile how I was going to do it. And in many ways, thinking about picking up women or seduction was the furthest thing from my mind.
Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been in a relationship. Not an open relationship. Not a relationship for show or for ego-gratification (like someone to praise me or to role-play some fantasy or to take care of me.) I was in the relationship because I cared deeply for the girl and she cared deeply for me.
We had ups, we had downs, we had things we needed to overcome. Maybe I will get into it at some point here, maybe I won’t.
Point is, during this time I started taking on big projects in other areas of my life. Projects that are meaningful to me and pretty massive in terms of what I am aiming to accomplish.
And when I started to deeply commit to pursuing my projects, I discovered a part of myself that picking-up or dating women never gave me: total, deep, lasting fulfillment.
Compared to my new found love in pursuing my “mission”, writing about pick-up started to leave a really bad taste in my mouth. I started thinking about all the sales letters I’d seen promoting the products that I’d come to know so well. Talking about packing my bed with women, “getting laid” in 15 minutes in the back of my car, being a “rockstar”, having hordes of women chasing me down the street and trying to break down my door like I was in a Backstreet Boys video.
There was a time that the imagery there really spoke to me. I wanted it – more specifically, my ego wanted it. Really really bad.
But the ego is based on fear. It’s not confidence – it’s actually the opposite of it. At best it’s gold paint over a rock. At the worst it’s a stinking sense of insecurity.
I remember being so deeply into the ego-seeking mindset that I would stupidly blurt out some ego-based statement. I was aware enough to notice the vibe immediately change when I did it, but it was like I couldn’t help myself – it was a nervous reaction. It was the opposite of “being real”.
These were realizations that became abundantly clear when I started my relationship. I found something deeper and more meaningful to me and I really didn’t care that much what other people thought of me or whether or not I was impressive to them. Instead of building my life to get validation (compliments, acknowledgement, praise, desire, lust, etc.), I naturally pursued accomplishment (partnership, inspiring others, taking action on my dreams, developing my skills and capabilities, pursuing excellence and mastery in other areas of life).
I am embarassed to admit the extent that I was still doing that – I could not see it for what it was until I totally stepped out of it and looked at how I had been living and conducting myself. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a complete shit-show or anything, I did have success, but I recognize what was driving me and I am certain it came across to others on some level too (if not completely blatantly). Again, embarrassed to admit it, but I am all about being real here so that what I write might be helpful to others.
Anyway, I had reached the goal point of the ego-based seduction community: I did have multiple attractive girlfriends at the same time. I had more than I could handle or had time for. I was pursued. I had the crazy flings that PUAs like to brag about. I did all that stuff. And in the end… I felt empty from it.
It’s not to say that there weren’t many moments that got me high and excited. There were, but they were transient. Once they were done, they were done and really the only satisfaction I could get from the experience afterward was the fact that I could maybe talk about how a particular technique worked for me.
But lasting, deep fulfillment or satisfaction? No, I never got that from being successful as a so-called PUA. I did from pursuing excellence.
So what’s my point in all of this? Am I over meeting women or writing on Pick-up Evolution? Definitely not.
I actually feel that I have something important and meaningful to share here now more than ever. But it’s not going to be glamorous lay reports or talking about how many girls I’m dating or any of that. And it definitely will not be a moral or ethical lecture – that is not where I am going with this. It’s going to be about pursuing excellence and how I believe skills with women fit into the equation. It’s going to be about getting excellent results that are actually satisfying and fulfilling, not merely ego-gratifying, empty and transient episodes of pleasure.
Will I talk about theory? Sure. Mindset? Definitely. Technique. You bet.
But it’s not going to be the whole notch-in-the-belt mentality that permeates the community, nor will it be a prescription to transform yourself into someone else’s personality/belief set to get women. It’s going to be about becoming your best self and polishing the areas that don’t shine yet. It’s going to be about a better reality of what a “seduction community” or “pick-up community” can be. In fact, it won’t be that at all – I aim for this to be a community of men who want to be great with women AND are pursue being great men in its own right.
More to come.
P.S. A version 1.1 of the free e-book is going to be released at some point in the near future. I went through and was appalled at the number of grammatical errors and goof-ups in the original release. I stand behind the quality of the e-book itself, but if I were reading someone else’s work and it had that many errors, I would think they were a total numb-nut! Hehe… soon enough.
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