One of the hot topics in popular psychology today is the “law of attraction.” The Law of Attraction states that what you focus on will manifest into your reality. John Kehoe (Mind Power) says that in the law of attraction, “thoughts that are emotionalized become magnetized and attract similar and like thoughts.”
Jerry and Esther Hicks make a distinction about focus and what we attract into our lives. They recommend that you NEVER focus on wanting something, but instead live through the feeling of having what it is you want. This will highly increase the number of opportunities you get to have that certain something – when the opportunity comes up, you take action.
How does this relate to picking up beautiful women? Well, lately I’ve noticed the more that I have been going out to become better with women, the more that I’ve made it into a sort of “hunt”. Legend and I had a conversation about “predatory energy” on the last field audio (8.31.08). Even though I feel like we’ve been pushing our edge consistently each week, it seemed for a while that the results were staling out.
The first 6-8 weeks, my intent was to go out and just have fun. I had broken up with my girlfriend of two years in mid-December and was not going out much until Legend and I started this project. So at that point, I was just happy to be out of the house around people who were all having fun. I wasn’t wanting a result… I already had it: I was having fun, plain and simple.
Now that I’ve been going out for a solid four months, two-nights a week, it’s become routine. And I still have fun, but recently it’s become like cold operation that I am trying to execute. That feels slimy to me and it is not a cool vibe at all. The needy do not get fed… (and I hate to admit it, but that is what neediness is…)
My solution? I am shit-canning the “wanting” energy and I am just out to have fun and make friends.
Instead of wanting to hook-up with the hottest girls, I just am the guy who hooks up with the hottest girls. It is just who I am. I am the guy who hooks up with hot women – it’s just my lifestyle. I don’t do anything for it, I don’t “want” for it and I don’t “try” for it. It is just who I am. That is the energy that I am coming from now. The “having” energy.
Stay tuned for upcoming posts about my experiences with this and about my more laid-back mentality on this whole “picking up women” exploration.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey, Interesting! I need to implement this. Got to get rid of the wanting, it’s just draining me to the point that I don’t have fun anymore when I go out!
This post might help me a lot!
Yeah man…. I’ve been putting my focus on being present, in the moment and just enjoying it as much as I can no matter what is happening.
Another thing I’m doing is laying down my internal resistance to reactions or feelings I might have. Instead of resisting or trying to hide feelings that I don’t like, I’m going to let myself feel them and acknowledge them for exactly what they are.
It’s sort of a paradox… I want it to “work”, but at the same time, I can’t want it to work. I just need to visualize my intent, feel the space of having it and then be done with it… no more worry about when I’ll get it or if I’m doing it right/good enough.
I’m going on a bit of a tangent here, but it’s because you mentioned about not having fun anymore. I had begun feeling that way during the past few weeks and decided I need to do a serious shift in how I have been approaching this lately.
Put fun and feeling good first… wanting does not feel good. Enjoying the moment completely for what it is… does.
Great post guys. But I’m so confused. Many pundits say that you should build up desire to create effective manifestations, yet Abraham advocates not wanting. Only one can be right. What gives?
Most thought provoking material, Edge. I haven’t been in a committed relationship for about a year now. So what if you really want it bad?