So recently I’ve written about rewriting some of my old posts because I felt they were off-putting. One of the things I like to do when something feels “wrong” is to distill what it is that seems to be causing that feeling.
What I think was off-putting about some of the things I had written is that it conveyed a mentality of one-up-manship. It implied that I felt I was better than someone else or that I overtook someone else in some way – whether it was the girl, my peer group or guys in general.
And when I read these phrases, I would think to myself, “Fuck that guy… oh wait, I wrote that!” Oops. It was as if what I was saying was communicating to the audience, I’m better than you.
Now this is definitely not what I am going for with my posts – I have always wanted to spread the love and help guys out with everything I write. That’s one of the reasons I make this journal public – I want to help guys.
I think a lot of that tone came from me wanting to prove to myself that I was successful and that I was no longer who I once was years ago. These days I have internalized that I really am pretty successful in this area of my life and I am grateful for it, but I hold this realization quietly and do my best to just give value through my posts here.
Now I don’t like talking about things that I’ve screwed up, but again, I am writing about it here because I think it may help someone else recognize this in themselves and it will help them develop. Hopefully this is helpful to you guys.
Feel free to post up some thoughts.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey
Great post and interesting dilemna you have here.
I dont think you should change it though.
Because those old posts give good contrast to how you have grown as a person.
We are all not perfect and by simply writing about this post about potentially rewriting your older ones is enough.
You would not be the person you are today .. had you not been that person a year ago.
People think that bad parts of our past should be something that we correct or make better.
But maybe there is no good or bad .. maybe there just IS.
Hot Approach Coach
Approach Anywoman, Anywhere, Anytime
Thanks for the comment.
I get where you’re coming from and I thought about some of this beforehand. One of my main targets with this online journal / blog is to authentically capture my journey and self-development. And to do that, that means pulling no punches and showing my strengths and successes as well as my weaknesses and failures.
At the time time, I feel that there is still a stigma in the realm of men giving advice to other men about improving their relationships with women. There’s a stigma against using words like pick-up, seduction, lay report, etc. And really all of this stuff is meant to be used as a teaching tool of how dating / relationship dynamics are taking place. It’s the same stuff women talk about, but men would feel really weird using the same words that women use talk about it. Men think differently than women and that’s a good thing. Different doesn’t equal bad, but society and American-culture at large have almost demonized male sexuality, so interpretation can be skewed.
Aside from my own personal journaling, my goal in writing up things like a “lay report” or about my dating experiences is to share what has worked for me so that other men can improve their own dating lives. The problem is, this is the sort of thing some “feminazi” will take out of context and try to make me look bad. I don’t need that, so that was one of the reasons I took out the profanity and a few of the elements that contributed nothing to sharing constructive information.
Yeah, it sucks because I would have rather not changed anything that I’ve written, but I’ve received enough messages about the older posts that I felt it was worth it to modify a few minor details in them and thus save myself the aggravation of receiving complaints for what I wrote earlier on in my learning.