In 2004, I remember one of my “gurus” talking about being focused on process, not on outcome. His reasoning was sound: If you are wrapped up in how something is going to turn out, you run a risk of messing it up.
So I made a point of focusing on the process in the different areas where I wanted to improve. Instead of being focused on being really fit and muscular, I focused on being on point with my diet every 3 hours and doing my workouts with full-focus, as scheduled.
Same with pick-up / seduction. I go out (as best I can) without any expectation and need for outcome. As long as I am out of my house and approaching, I am living the dreaming and doing my part.
Need for outcome is crippling because it sets a condition on you “feeling good”. If you meet the condition, your mental rules will “allow” you to feel good. If you do not meet the conditions, your mental rules will not allow you to feel good and might even start internally punishing you (shame, anger, embarrassment, disappointment, etc.) My opinion is to avoid this line of thinking like the plague.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
another thing that i am going to pick up doing. there is also the aspect of fun. if you let go of picking up women and just have fun, THEN pick up women it becomes natrual instead of forced.
Thanks man. I’m glad you commented because this is something I need to remember – damn, I wrote this thing and lately I’ve been violating this.
Goes to show… part of the game is forming good habits and part of it is avoiding bad habits (or correcting them if they form).
I like your style