I used to take things personally. I used to feel like judgments of other people really meant something, even if the other person was a complete stranger. Now, with my current mindset, it seems insane and I can’t even wrap my mind around it. But getting to this mental space happened gradually, over years.
So naturally this threw some salt in my game since approaching strangers could take any possible direction. I ended up becoming a “material-junkie”, collecting different self-improvement programs to try and figure out how to get what I wanted out of life.
Now that I am away from that sort of crappy thinking, I realize that a person’s judgements were not about me. They could be about how I communicated to them. They could be about my current level of skill even. But never about me.
In fact, I would even say that making negative things about you is a habit. The way I shed this habit was, first, I noticed it. Everytime I caught myself saying some bad reaction was about me, I would stop and come up with a few alternate reasons. Plus, I started making things about me in a useful way – when something good happened, then it was about me!
I used to want (and expect) change to be glamorous and dramatic. Truth is, my most significant self-improvements have come around gradually as a result of simple processes like this. It’s been like consistently weeding a garden, and not like taking a magic pill.
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I actually experienced the same thing. most of it was self realizations that took me a few months to come to terms with.
Also i love the idea of ignoring all the bad stuff and taking all the good. i have recently taken that idea from another friend of mine and it really is amazing the results i have seen.