I had a recently experience where I met a bunch of guys who are in “the game” or “seduction community“. Some of them had a ton of experience, some were just starting out, various people were in the middle.
Regardless of the level of experience the people were at, I noticed one disturbing trend in some members of this group.
Now I want to be clear about what I am about to talk about: I am not saying this to criticize or judge the people – I only want to pick out the behavior and illustrate it as something that I dislike. Onward.
The trait that I was disturbed by was when someone talked to me like they were an expert. Like they had it all figured out and that they were imparting their wisdom down to me, as if they had discovered the Holy Grail and they were giving me the priviledge of hearing them.
Now, truth be told, I probably have been guilty of this before too. Again, I’m not saying this to judge someone.
But being on the receiving end of it really really highlighted how off-putting that behavior is. To illustrate, I was at a restaurant and just struck up a conversation with a couple of guys. One of them asked, “So what brought you here?” I confessed that I was a self-improvement junky and I’m always down to learn new things.
He asked what I thought of a certain team of instructors. I gave my opinion. Then he went on to talk about all of the wonderful things he’s learned from those instructors and how amazing they are.
Nothing wrong with that in it of itself, but the way he was talking to me was as if I was a total newbie and he was talking about realizations I’d never had or experienced. He was saying stuff like, “Well, if you haven’t realized this yet, you’re screwed,” and “Wow, it’s really great that you hit that milestone.”
Now I have no interest in tooting my horn. Yes, I have this blog, yes I will occasionally talk about my experiences and successes on here, but it is in the context of discussion and sharing to help others in their self-improvement ventures. I don’t care what level of experience you are at – if you are in a discussion with me, I am open to hearing from you and learning from you.
But when someone talks to me from this perspective (especially when I KNOW this person’s reach far far far exceeds his grasp and he is not aware), I cannot help but want to scream. I mean, I am writing this post as a reality check for myself and for you, as the reader.
This whole thing of watching a couple of self-help products or attending a seminar and then assuming that you’re an expert on everything is not only very off-putting and annoying, it also puts up a destructive barrier to your own learning.
Whenever I notice myself thinking that I know everything I need to know or that I’m some kind of pimp, I TEAR DOWN THAT IMAGE and adopt the frame that I don’t know anything. I want to keep myself open to continually learn, improve and connect with other people.
For those who recognize themselves in this post, I invite you to look inside and find out what’s really causing you to be this way. I went first and removed this behavior from myself entirely – it helps.
Thoughts?
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