Pick-up instruction and dating advice is not one size fits all - the instruction you subscribe to needs to be targeted toward someone with your personality and your characteristics.

I just finished reading a newsletter from one of the numerous dating/pick-up/seduction instructors out there (one that I like, actually). He was talking about how he worked on his style, confidence and humor and as a result, women loved him… but only as a friend.

Then with his easy-to-use method of sparking sexual connections, it completed the puzzle and now he has abundant sex.

Fair enough, I could believe that. But it sparked a thought - most people who get really good and develop their own products market the “antidote” to their dating woes. In other words, they sucked before, then they found what they needed to work on (the antidote), worked on it, then had success.

As a result, the dating product that MOST “pick-up gurus”, dating instructors, relationship authors write is the part that was missing for them. MOST of them do not include the stuff they were already doing right because they take it for granted.

Unfortunately, this issue tends to get confused in sales letters. The purpose of a sales letter is to sell as much product as possible. So the sales letter will talk to you as if this product is the cure-all for all men who want to improve their dating skills, no matter where they are.

Take, for example, a program like the Authentic Man Program. Now, I like AMP. I would gladly recommend AMP to others. But the guys that AMP will benefit the most are the guys who are disconnected from themselves (can’t feel anything), the guys who are over-practiced pick-up to the point where everything they say is a canned routine (social robots) and guys who creep girls out for one reason or another (incongruent guys).

AMP is good, but it is not the antidote for me to improve the areas of my game that I need to improve. There is plenty of value in their course and I do recommend checking them out, but there are still structure-based principles from other instructors (like Swinggcat) that I have gotten a tremendous amount of value from.

I think the best strategy is to master the material I get the most results from. OK, that sounds kind of obvious, but my strategy in the past has been to move from material to other material to other material - as a result, I don’t get really good at any one particular thing. When I say master the material I get the most results from I mean continually use it, experiment with it, refine it, etc. until it is perfect. THEN move on.

On a closing note, Legend and I have very different personalities (at times I would even say opposite). I think this is great because most of self-improvement happens by moving from the extreme to the middle ground. We get to watch each other and see how a person on the opposite extreme acts in a certain situation. It will take different things for Legend to improve vs. what it will take for me to improve and I think that’s great - the result will be that we create a very complete system for all-encompassing success with women.

Related posts:

1. Edge - Broadening Our Blog Content
2. Edge - Destroying Anxiety
3. Edge - How to Learn Natural Game
4. Edge - Checking in, Life is Good
5. Edge - The Seduction Community

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This entry was posted on Thursday, November 20th, 2008 at 12:32 pm and is filed under Technique.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.