Edge – Don’t Hate What You Want

After stepping into the role of “blogger” at the beginning of June 2008 for this site, I have started to reflect on different places where I’ve progressed. It’s no secret that I put a lot of stock and focus into improving my own thought processes and choosing to think in a way that sets me up to win.

I think one area that held me back in my past relationships (and life in general) was my attitude.

I was a complainer and critical by nature in the past and if I didn’t like something, I would get fired up – I was prone to ranting about all sorts of things that annoyed me, versus just letting them go and focusing on what I want.

One striking area that definitely affected my performance in life and love was what I chose to hate.

I believe that hating things in general is a bad strategy, but if I’m going to hate something, I definitely shouldn’t hate people who have attained success in areas I’d like to be successful in.

For example, I think it’s a really really bad idea to hate guys who are “players” or notoriously successful with women if you want to be good with women. I used to do this!! I used to look at a guy in a TV show who was a player and think “what an asshole”. I used to see a guy at a party who was getting all sorts of female attention (and I’m talking about the sexy, you-make-me-hot kind of attention) and I’d hate the guy.

Now, clearly this “hate” stemmed from my own bitterness, jealousy and frustration with my own dating situation. Those were issues onto themselves. But the fact was that I didn’t even see it as the problem that it was!

Admittedly, I hate writing articles that highlight how shitty my thinking used to be, but I do it because I want you (the reader) to see that I have really worked on the way I think and, as a result, my results improved tremendously. Not everyone has the same problems or stumbling blocks in this area of life, but if you recognize any of what I’m talking about in you, I would encourage you to shift your thinking.

What do I do these days? Well, my natural response when I see someone succeeded is to think “good for you”. It makes me feel good to think that. It makes me feel good that people around me are winning and that we live in a world where we can win. Moreover, it gives me a feeling that there’s abundance all around me, that there’s enough to go around and that there’s no need to squabble over petty things or fight over getting a piece of the pie, so to speak.

Related posts:

1. Why I Hate a “Pick-up Artist”

Tagged as: dealing with hate, empowering thinking, how hate effects your life