Edge – Depression is a Shitty Motivator

Years ago, I was in bad shape. People these days love to throw around the “D” word (depression), but we’ll just say that I was miserable and felt helpless and hopeless to improve my situation.

These days I am so far from experiencing those feelings that I honestly feel like I am a different person. I think that it is important that I share how I got out of my funk on this website. I would love to help anyone out there who’s experienced (or experiencing) very deep pain, extreme hopelessness or a feeling of utter helplessness.

Here are three beliefs that really messed me up for a long time that I would like for us all to be free from:

1. “If I become happy, I will be settling for mediocrity. So I need to remain feeling pain because the pain will motivate me to improve my situation.”

[I honestly remember feeling that if I wasn't unhappy, I would end up settling. My biggest fear at that time was that if I became happy, I would settle for mediocrity.

Now I know that I would not settle for mediocrity, even though I am quite happy and content. My mindset has always been to shoot for a huge goal, only now I am not distracted by the taunting, nagging feelings of doubt, fear and worry.

I have never met someone who is making strides towards huge goals and is depressed. I have never seen someone making tremendous progress in anything while they're depressed. On the other hand, some of the most successful people are very driven and focused on their goal - they don't have time to waste on being depressed!

Depression is not a motivator - it is an energy hole. Pain can snap someone up to take action, but pain CANNOT be used as a long term motivator - too much pain creates a feeling of helplessness and wanting to escape or shut down. If I am going to use pain as a motivator, I use it to snap myself out of excessive, complacent comfort. And use it sparingly.

I am extremely happy and inspired now and I am making quicker progress towards my goals than ever.

Come to think of it, I can't think of anything more mediocre to settle for than settling for a life of feeling depressed.]

2. “I want a better life, but who am I kidding. I don’t want to get my hopes up, only to be disappointed in the end. Disappointment would be even more crushing than just feeling bad.”

[Life is going to grind on you, no matter what. There will be disappointments. But it's better to actually go for what you want and sometimes be disappointed than to NEVER try and be guaranteed a shitty life, everyday. I look at life now as a practice of making my goals into a reality, while building a resilience against anything negative that comes up.

I believe that one of the biggest parts of becoming a man has to do with how much you can handle. Not suppress... handle.]

3. “I can’t improve my situation. I know other people have had success, but I have a special circumstance/situation, so I won’t be able to succeed like they have.”

[This builds on my last point. There is nothing that I have been dealt that is worse than what other people have been forced to overcome. When I oriented my focus toward being grateful, I realized how good I actually have it.

Chances are, if you are reading this website, you have something in this world to be grateful for. Some people on earth have never even SEEN a computer. Some can't read. Some can't even see. And yet, they get by... you have no excuse. You have to give life your best if you want to improve your situation.

There is no reason to ever think of yourself as the victim. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that thinking of yourself as an unfortunate victim of anything (of circumstance, of another's harm, of genetics, etc.) is one of the most unempowering things you can possibly do!]

I will revisit this topic over time. Hope you found it helpful.

Thoughts?

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Tagged as: depression, happiness, motivation, not settling for mediocrity