One of my favorite concepts in self-improvement and seduction is the concept of frames. I think that frames and beliefs are closely intertwined, so I decided to post about them together.
When I think of the concept of frames and beliefs, I think of Richard Bandler (co-founder of NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming), Ross Jeffries (founder of Speed Seduction) and Swinggcat (writer of Real World Seduction). These are the guys that I feel taught me the most about frames and they deserve credit for their work.
What I want to talk about today is a recent thought I had about frames and beliefs.
See, it’s not uncommon for people talk about self-fulfilling prophecies. I think everyone would agree that when someone has shitty beliefs and expects the worst, they are most likely to get exactly what they expect.
But I don’t think people typically think about self-fulfilling prophecies in the positive sense. But why not? If we already believe there’s such thing as “believing something and then it comes true”, why aren’t we using this to our advantage??? Think about it! This is the idea of thoughts becoming reality – that’s like a holy grail in self-development, self-improvement.
My perception is that people believe that would be “too good to be true”. That’s what I originally felt, at least.
Or if they do think that self-fulfilling prophecies could benefit people if they’re holding good believes, I think another limiting belief is, “I can’t change what I believe. My beliefs are what they are and if I try to convince my mind otherwise, my mind will believe it’s bullshit and immediately reject it.” This was another thought I had at first.
But enough great teachers and mentors recommended I start taking on beliefs and frames that are strategic, even if it feels completely psychotic and unnatural to hold those beliefs and frames at first.
For example, believing that women see me as the prize that they want to reach for and chase felt really unnatural at first. I felt like it was a total and complete act, but I committed to it fully and just experimented.
My results were much better than the results I had previously been getting. By holding the beliefs and frames and refusing to crack, I had created a self-fulfilling prophecy: The women saw me as that “prize” and they DID chase me.
Now using beliefs and frames is a central part of what I use to be successful.
I will expand on this in future posts, but I’m going to talk real quick here about how I think about frames and beliefs and how I install these beliefs into my mind so they become “real” and a part of me.
With beliefs, I think of them as strategies. First, I ask myself, “What would be the most empowering reality for me if it were currently true?” An example of this would be to believe that women LOVE me.
Now starting out my belief was that certain women in certain circumstances liked me. But to believe that ALL women LOVE me… wow, that would be a stretch… but it would be a great, empowering reality! So I decide that that’s what I’m going to install. Now how do I make it real and natural for me to believe it, so that it becomes a part of me?
I start by setting time aside each day and affirm the belief to myself. I’ll take five minutes and just keep repeating to myself, “Women LOVE me.” Over and over again, just keep repeating it and making it my only thought. Other thoughts come up, but I just continually return to my affirmation / mantra… “Women LOVE me, Women LOVE me, Women LOVE me…”
As I’m doing this, I am imagining myself moving through the world and women are looking at me and smiling, sending me great, loving vibes. They are loving my energy, my appearance, my attitude, my way of being, my way of talking, the things I talk about… And I am feeling it as if I already have this reality – I am imagining that it’s already real.
Then, when I’m out in the world, I interpret EVERYTHING from the frame (or attitude, or perspective, whatever you want to call it) that it is evidence that she loves me. Even if it seems completely psychotic to believe it, I do not waver in my frame that everything she’s doing is evidence that she loves me and that women in general love me.
The results I’ve experienced is that over a period of time, women end up buying into this reality! As I practice holding a frame, the time it takes for them to buy into the reality becomes less and less until it’s almost automatic in most interactions… and when it’s not, it’s automatic for me to hold the frame and it’s effortless.
I’m writing about this because I have found it to be so powerful and so helpful that I want to inspire all of you to start exploring it if you haven’t yet. I also wanted to take the concept of beliefs and frames from being just a concept and make it tangible and visceral, so you can have a feel for how it’s useful, what it’s like to experiment with it and how results come around. Hopefully I achieved that.
Post up any questions you have – I love this topic and if I can clarify something I said here, I’m happy to do it.
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