Once I’ve hooked a woman or a group, one of the feelings I want her to get from me is a feeling of curiosity (at best, intrigue.)
I was having a conversation with Legend about this and I began to realize some of the things I do to create that feeling of wanting to figure me out or learn more about me.
Mainly I will use cold-reading. I probably do other things that I’m not thinking about as I do them, but very quickly, once a set hooks, I’ll throw in bait for a cold-read. I’ll start to telling a story, then throw in, “You know, I can look at you and tell exactly what you were like in eighth grade.” She’ll inevitably go, “Oh yeah, what was I like?” I’ll tell her that I’ll get back to it after the story.
I never ask a girl what she does. I’ll always guess at her career – I actually get it right (or close) a good percentage of the time. “You look like a teacher… do you teach?” If I’m right, she’ll ask, “How did you know?” at which point I’ll change the subject and leave her spinning with that feeling of wondering. If I’m wrong, I’ll say something like, “OK – I kind of got a teacher vibe from you because on the surface, you seem really X, but beneath it you seem like you’re actually Y.” Then I’m off to the races…
I don’t really do anything rigid enough to call it a “routine”, but I do definitely follow some basic frameworks when I’m talking to women.
This is one of them.
What kinds of things do you guys do to build intrigue and buying temperature in the women you talk with?
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Very interesting. I like your posts.
Yes, whether you are “cold reading” or using genuine insight and intuition, it is important to have them reaching for more.
For some of us(and I know I’ve been guilty of this in the past), the tendency to impress with what we know and how smart we are gets the better of creating
intrigue and a desire for more on their part.
Now THAT is one of many samskaras that guys will encounter on their way to excellence.
Good job, I am enjoying your writing.
RJ
93/93
Thank you, I appreciate the props.
I’ve fallen into that trap in the past – ultimately it was generating from a frame problem. I still have to rest my mind on the frame that I am the prize that she is reaching for and working to win over. (I say rest my mind metaphorically, like one would rest a stone on a table… no pressure, no effort. Just positioned.) So long as my mind is resting on this frame, I do not have a need/tendency to impress.
At the same time, sometimes I’ll get excited about connecting on a certain subject (like movies or music or playing instruments). In it of itself it’s a nice thing, but it’s innappropriate in the beginning stages. In these cases, we end up having a “nice conversation”, then never see each other again. Not useful to my outcome.
In other words, my desire to connect with another person and just celebrate our mutual enjoyment of life can get the better of “running good game.” I think that’s a good thing (from the “being human”/having a soul point of view), but I can give a greater gift by making the interaction delicious on all levels. Connecting can always happen later… Hell, she’d probably find it thrilling that I didn’t jump on “connecting on commonalities” right away.
I have a very strong look so i use it with girls, i look into hers eyes in a very deeply way for a long time menawhile we are talking about anything or dancing or just having a drink and when she ask why i look her like that i tell her that i can see something about her very intense or deep then she ask what it’s? i start to talk about something else or i tell her that i have to go back with my friends and maybe latter come back and tell her what i saw.
My response depends of the girl, maybe i can say that she is very passionate, very open or given in love relationships, very adventure, shy or lonely.
Plug & Play
I have a very strong look so i use it with girls, i look into hers eyes in a very deeply way for a long time menawhile we are talking about anything or dancing or just having a drink and when she ask why i look her like that i tell her that i can see something about her very intense or deep then she ask what it’s? i start to talk about something else or i tell her that i have to go back with my friends and maybe latter come back and tell her what i saw.
My response depends of the girl, maybe i can say that she is very passionate, very open or given in love relationships, very adventure, shy or lonely.
Plug & Play
Sounds good to me. I can respect that style – when I meet a girl, I really do my best to “see” her. Back in the day I thought of it like “game”, but these days I really do legitimately try to get her vibe and I tell her what I think. I’m not always right… I’m OK with that, it’s not really about being right. I guess you could say it’s my way of saying that I like to connect with a woman beyond the superficial and I am willing to connect with depth and meet her at a level that’s personal and meaningful to her. That’s my style, but I mention it here to point out that it is real for me and it has respect and compassion within it. My feeling is that you are probably coming from a similar place.
Sounds good to me. I can respect that style – when I meet a girl, I really do my best to “see” her. Back in the day I thought of it like “game”, but these days I really do legitimately try to get her vibe and I tell her what I think. I’m not always right… I’m OK with that, it’s not really about being right. I guess you could say it’s my way of saying that I like to connect with a woman beyond the superficial and I am willing to connect with depth and meet her at a level that’s personal and meaningful to her. That’s my style, but I mention it here to point out that it is real for me and it has respect and compassion within it. My feeling is that you are probably coming from a similar place.
You’re right my friend, actually i like to connect in a deeper level with girls but with a little of game, i mean that i don’t give her a response quit or i don’t share what i saw into her quit, i wait and play a little around.
A tought…the most beautifull girls with great bodies are not used to beign seeing into her eyes for men who approach them…
You’re right my friend, actually i like to connect in a deeper level with girls but with a little of game, i mean that i don’t give her a response quit or i don’t share what i saw into her quit, i wait and play a little around.
A tought…the most beautifull girls with great bodies are not used to beign seeing into her eyes for men who approach them…
Agreed. The most beautiful women actually get robbed of a lot of good things.
They have no shortage of men who will act macho to try to get their attention – but it is a rare man that can show strength, depth, openness and even a little vulnerability. (IMO)
Agreed. The most beautiful women actually get robbed of a lot of good things.
They have no shortage of men who will act macho to try to get their attention – but it is a rare man that can show strength, depth, openness and even a little vulnerability. (IMO)