I used to rate interactions on how long I could stay in the conversation. I would be talking to some girl and the conversation would be meandering down some boring path, but she hadn’t walked away so I still felt I was “in”.
Kind of silly actually because inevitably the girl would be bored out of her mind and disappear.
These days, I keep pulse on this question, “How much is she reaching for more?” If she’s not reaching for more in some way, shape or form, then I am not doing my job. The best kind of interaction would be one where I’m expending minimal effort of baiting her to want more while she is reaching more and more for me. When she reaches, I would set a frame and keep escalating the interaction.
I am not going to get to my intended outcome if she is just casually listing off her credentials as if she were at a business-function. The words don’t matter, the length of time of the interaction doesn’t matter. It’s all about the energy, real energy, that she’s pouring into the interaction that will determine if it will truly be successful.
The good news is that I know I can bait this – I just have to make sure that this is happening every time.
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