Archive for the “Thoughts” Category

I hit this some time ago but I wanted to get it up here.  I think that losing pickup skill can be common.  I feel that going backward in your development is sometimes part of forward development.  I think it is a common occurrence that no one wants to talk about. This has been on the back burner for a while but I want to finish writing it and get it out there so hopefully it can help some of you guys and I can make sense of it myself.

For a long time I was doing really well. I had a solid structure and a solid path and had it in my mind of what to do. It was almost as if I was climbing a mountain and had reached the first Peak. I looked out over all that I had accomplished and then went about undoing everything good I had just accomplished.  When I look back and think what went through my subconscious mind is I don’t need to be working … [Click Here to Read Post] »

So recently I’ve written about rewriting some of my old posts because I felt they were off-putting. One of the things I like to do when something feels “wrong” is to distill what it is that seems to be causing that feeling.

What I think was off-putting about some of the things I had written is that it conveyed a mentality of one-up-manship. It implied that I felt I was better than someone else or that I overtook someone else in some way - whether it was the girl, my peer group or guys in general.

And when I read these phrases, I would think to myself, “Fuck that guy… oh wait, I wrote that!” Oops. It was as if what I was saying was communicating to the audience, I’m better than you.

Now this is definitely not what I am going … [Click Here to Read Post] »

I’ve been running back to the fundamental points lately in my mind. This is because we had so much success in the early months and then I hit a giant plateau. I believe many people are stuck in different forms of plateaus.

Then I tried a different approach, starting at the beginning again and I think I went backwards in my development. Sometimes you have to to figure out what works and what doesn’t. A trick that my mind plays on itself is “once you have something handled you don’t have to do it anymore”, which is completely not true.

I compare this to working out at a gym. Once you can curl 50 pounds, it’s not OK to stop because if you stopped doing it and then try to pick up 50 pounds a month later without working out in that time you will not be able to.

This is the concept … [Click Here to Read Post] »

I love how everyone these days is all “natural.” This is very funny how a lot of new guys in the community preach natural without having anything to back it up.

Sure its great to be natural but how?

This is the question they always can’t answer. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t talked to everyone, but after talking to a senior instructor from a well-known pickup company the other week I came to the conclusion that he was absolutely full of shit. It’s pretty easy once you go into field a lot to tell who has real-world skill … [Click Here to Read Post] »

I know that everyone talks about motivation, but I think it’s important to touch on it over and over again. I think it’s important to have it right in front of your face, literally.

I find that the more I do, the more I want to do. On the other side, I find that the less I do, the less I want to do. As in anything in life, I think that we need to build momentum, which allows us to do more things. I started this project about 10 days ago and in all honestly I could have been done by now, but I am not. When I work, I work solid, but starting is the hardest part. After starting, we can all build up momentum and push forward.

I think a huge key to being motivated in any area is … [Click Here to Read Post] »

How do you face your fears?

I wish I had the answer.

As a man we have to face our fears and above all in this game face uncertainty. We have to become comfortable with uncertainty and going with our instincts. I believe that this is a core, fundamental value to every man. Until you do this, I believe that you will still be a child in a man’s body.

This takes a strong will and a dedicated individual. I do not believe that this is easy. It is what separates us, the spectators and the people who take action, the leaders and the followers. There is an old saying that the people who know how always work for the people that know why. I believe that in this game everything rests on why because if you’re reading this you already know how. It just comes down to the question: “I am man enough?”

I think that really boils down to why.

This is purely an inner game topic. This is the point where … [Click Here to Read Post] »

I think that fear is something important and I want to talk about it.

With the girls that I want the most, the approach still scares me. I know that once I go I will bring all of my skills to the table, but lately the initial jump has been too hard on certain groups where I am really attracted to a girl.

I think it comes down to a fear of screwing it up. I have to look at it with … [Click Here to Read Post] »

There’s a truth about our minds: As long as we are alive, our brains are on.

Even while we’re asleep, our minds are still on and (to a degree) receptive. Even in comas our brains have a degree of awareness and receptivity.

And when we’re conscious, we have a constant stream of thought.

I believe that thoughts have power. No matter how minimal or dispersed, I believe that every single thought that we have has power. I also believe that our minds will align our actions, behaviors and habits to bring us into contact with what we think about the most. Not what we want the most, but what we think about the most.

I have taken on a new habit because of this. My new habit is to … [Click Here to Read Post] »

One of our readers (who’s an all around good guy) recently asked me, “Have you made any posts about identity?”

Not yet, actually. Legend and I have both touched on different ideas for how we manage our “avatar” (the image that people see and draw impressions from in a social environment), but I don’t think either of us have touched on the core issue of identity.

I think identity is a core and sacred topic. I want to be very frank in saying that this is an area I struggled with for years - I was very unclear and confused about who I was. These days, I have a very clear idea of my identity (though I continue to explore myself, as that is life). I want to share what my epiphanies were in terms of my own self and identity discovery.

In my early twenties, I was studying seduction … [Click Here to Read Post] »

What we focus on will define all of our interactions. As I have become better and better with every week of practice, I find it is harder to detach myself from an outcome. The irony in all of this is that going out and doing this in itself is a paradox. You have to each have faith in yourself, but at the same time not put demands on yourself. But even still you have to take action. If you don’t expect anything from yourself, then you open the door to trying new things. This is a current sticking point I am working through.

For me it’s easier to open sets and test out new things if I don’t hold in my head that I am good at anything, even if sometimes I’m very good. This is a mental trick that I do to not experience approach anxiety, but not necessarily the end solution. I really need to get back and think about the long process and end game, not just worry about the here and now.

I believe the most important part … [Click Here to Read Post] »

When learning this stuff it’s very important not to concentrate on how to do it, but just to it. The new philosophy of just being natural is something very difficult to wrap your head around. I think it has more to do with the act of embracing the unknown. You take techniques and instead of over-thinking it to get a desired outcome, you really have to just try it out and try it out again until you figure out how to make it work.

This is a process that is truly a paradox. There are always two opposing sides to everything and you can’t have one without the other. I think that routine style with techniques is just one-side of the spectrum where natural game is the other side of the spectrum. I think we truly want to be right in the middle. Having … [Click Here to Read Post] »

Thinking back on my social interactions, I had a history of being stingy even as a kid. I didn’t like sharing, I wasn’t a big fan of being generous and I was definitely one to fight for anything that I viewed as scarce.

As a teenager, I saw this in myself and felt guilty about it. At the same time, I looked at women and money as scarce, so I definitely did not want to consider being generous. Instead, I just felt guilty about taking anything from anyone and formed an intent to be completely independent and self-sufficient.

Independence and self-sufficiency are great characteristics. However, when it comes to improving skills with women or socially in generally, you have to be willing to give and take.

What stands in the way of people giving freely?

I think there were a few major internal forces … [Click Here to Read Post] »

Here and there, people will talk about giving and taking value in social settings and interactions. In my last post, I wrote about how I’ve begun throwing house parties with my roommates as a way to meet women and give value to all of my guests. It works phenomenally.

But let’s step back and take a look at giving value as a concept. Giving value is basically the mere fact that if someone aligns with you in any sense, they will be closer to getting something they want than if they did not talk to you.

As a random example: by virtue of knowing someone like Hugh Hefner personally, you become a person who gives value to people when they align with you. The other people who align with you would be thinking on some level, “If he knows Hugh Hefner, then that means that I someday might get a trip to the Playboy mansion!”

Or if someone is really funny and crazy, people will want to align with them cause they think, “This person is so funny and crazy, I’ll be entertained and feel good when they’re around.”

Now granted, I don’t like to break human relationships down to something so cold and sterile. There’s much more … [Click Here to Read Post] »

According to the “seduction community”, natural game is all the rage now. I mean, just ask several of the pick-up gurus from years past that used to talk about how great routine-based game was. They’ll tell you that these days, they just act natural and it works way better.

So men around the world tune into what the gurus are saying and say, “Wow, these guys got stunning results before and now they say they discovered something even better? This is amazing!!! I’m going to buy all their natural-game products!”

Let me point something out. These guys can act natural because they studied routine-based pick-up for YEARS!! They went out multiple nights a week hammering away on women with routine-based pick-up routines… to the point where they could probably recite the “C and U shaped smile” routine in their sleep. Who do you think lies more, by the way?

My point is that even though the community (or really, the marketing to the community) is geared towards natural game now, it is for two reasons:

1) Natural game is being touted … [Click Here to Read Post] »

In this world of information overload, the mind is always searching for an answer. The problem with the seduction community is that everyone thinks there is an answer. I find myself going into my head thinking what to do in a certain situation that I haven’t experienced before. In reality even though my brain searches for an answer, I cannot have an answer because I have not experienced it before. This is the hurdle that plagues us all, the uncertainty of an outcome.

The problem is this is a vicious loop. You cannot know the answer without first trying. My mind wants to search for an answer before trying, but in reality you have to try. This requires a great effort to breakout of the vicious loop. The more you learn, the more you think that you know and it traps you in the cycle of analyzation. I think the reason I was able to make so much progress in the beginning months was that I consciously knew nothing. Now that I think that I know certain things, my brain tries to fit everything into that reality when really I should just be concentrating on … [Click Here to Read Post] »

Having attraction from the whole room before opening a set is a good goal to strive toward. This has become more apparent to me in the last couple weeks as Edge and I have played with different venues in the surrounding area. There is a huge difference when we talk in the higher energy down town bars and club environments verses towny and college areas.

Downtown in a fast environment, it is much harder to get pre-attraction from the whole room. If you look at a smaller college bar where the people are all dressed sloppy and you walk in as a rock star or in a suit immediately you are above everyone. You can talk louder then them after practicing in a much louder environment. People look at you like you are important and in your head you feel it. I think a lot of it is … [Click Here to Read Post] »

There is a lot of time in the day, but at the same time so little. Let’s talk getting productive. This in itself is the core of self-help. Keeping motivation levels up to inspire us to be . The main problem as I see it, everyone looks for the easy way out, the next pill, but in reality everything isn’t as hard as you make it out to be. It just takes way longer then you might think.

As a person I find I get into ruts. Say working or the lack there of. Doing less work breeds doing less work. Your mind and body finds ways to be lazy when it’s in an unproductive stage. On the flip side when you are producing and working it becomes easier to continue on then to stop.

Bing! Right there: Momentum. This is a hugely under talked about thing in the self-help community. First, we need dreams and things to aspire to. Next we need motivation and ways to keep our motivation. Things that constantly, remind us of what we want and how to get there. Next the momentum. This is a key that I don’t think Edge … [Click Here to Read Post] »

More in my line of posts between creating good habits and breaking bad habits. This happened to me the other night and it’s important to get it out to everyone. Your brain works on simple circuitry. I was over at my FB’s house and there was a party next door. We ended up not going and just having sex instead. She didn’t want to go and I would have felt very bad if I left her (even though I almost did).

Now my body is telling me to just stay in and have sex, but my habit of going out really began to take over. I actually felt myself getting angry that I didn’t go.

I am just throwing it out there becuase after installing my new habit of going out it was mentally painful to stay in. So there is a future and a brighter side. Lets move toward the good habits and not look back.

More thoughts in the realm of breaking bad habits and creating new stronger better habits. We can talk about how society tells you do this and don’t do that. They tell you to get a corporate job. Follow in the foot steps of your father. Telling you that you shouldn’t be doing this and just act as part of the herd.

This bring us to the sublimminal messages and ideas that have been trust into your head for years. Its so underlying that I think its important to bring up again and again. The first step is to become aware of it and then you can break free of it.

As part of living in society we are pushed to conform. That in itself is … [Click Here to Read Post] »

Your mind working in such a way that it gears up for repetitive action. If you are always in a negative state, you will automatically revert into a negative state.

Simply put, your brain wires itself for whatever you are doing. Right now I am trying to un-wire years of not approaching and taking action for exactly what I want.

Whatever it is, whether it be watching TV instead of working out or reading a book, your brain automatically goes into a mode to conserve energy and do what you’ve always done.

Repeating the same old actions and thoughts over and over again.

This is how we function… and the first step to breaking the cycle is realizing this. I am going to talk in a future article about instilling good habits.

Let’s delve into pick-up related terms focusing on approaching and self improvement. This probably the biggest step the most puas need to get over (myself included). I mean fully get over. We have been in a trend … [Click Here to Read Post] »