I think that having disappointing, sad and painful relationships definitely had an influence on me discovering the pick-up/seduction community. When I felt that kind of pain or rejection, I would feel it so strongly that I would say, “No more. I will never leave myself vulnerable to this happening ever again.” As a result, I would close down more and more of myself to guarantee that I would not be hurt again.
At the same time, I believe that a relationship can only go as deep as to the degree that you are open and vulnerable to it. In other words, if I do not put myself in a position where I are risking anything… if I do not put myself in a position where I will feel anything for a girl… if I give nothing and only take… then I will have no depth to my relationships.
Sure, I may have women who are very attracted to me. Sure, I may have sex and women throwing themselves at me. And make no mistake, I am NOT saying these are bad things – they’re great! But this is not depth. It’s only narcissism.
Depth in a relationship, I believe, comes from [Click to Continue Reading…]
Tagged as:
dating tips,
improving relationships with women,
relationship tips
The other night I had a conversation with my ex-girlfriend. Doesn’t happen often – frankly she’s been cold with me for many months now and it’s clear that even the friendship that we once had has gone sour. I’ve wanted to hold onto the hope that we’d be able to at least stay friends and have some kind of closeness, but it’s clear that it’s time for me to let go.
So what is letting go? Letting go is refusing to feed the thoughts about another person anymore. Just refusing to entertain them. Whether that means just being unreactive when the thought comes up or thinking about something (anything) else… When I stop entertaining thoughts on anything, it takes the emotional wind out of that thought’s sails and it disappears.
In my mind, I still remember all the great times we had together. I remember the ups and the downs and I don’t regret any of it. Sure, there were lessons learned on both our parts and things each of us would have done differently, but really the relationship was amazing. I still hold her in the most loving place in my thoughts.
But in her mind, I am not [Click to Continue Reading…]
Tagged as:
breaking up,
ending relationships,
getting over ex-girlfriend,
letting go
I think that having disappointing, sad and painful relationships definitely had an influence on me discovering the pick-up/seduction community. When I felt that kind of pain or rejection, I would feel it so strongly that I would say, “No more. I will never leave myself vulnerable to this happening ever again.” As a result, I would close down more and more of myself to guarantee that I would not be hurt again.