Archive for the “Journal” Category

Rest in peace, 2008.  You were a great year. 

I want to take a moment and review some of the key personal experiences and insights that contributed to my learning in 2008.  Some of these learnings were fresh insights that I had never had before.  Others were things I had read about countless times, but didn’t truly understand until I had personal experience with them.  Granted, I had more than 20 learnings in 2008, but these are the first 20 that came to mind, so they made the grade.

Here, in no particular order, are twenty realizations, epiphanies and learnings from 2008.

1.  Thoughts are real forces.  Every single thought has an effect.

2.  Starting is the hardest part.  Once I’ve started, taking action is much easier.

3.  Never ever … [Click Here to Read Post] »

The other night I had a conversation with my ex-girlfriend. Doesn’t happen often - frankly she’s been cold with me for many months now and it’s clear that even the friendship that we once had has gone sour. I’ve wanted to hold onto the hope that we’d be able to at least stay friends and have some kind of closeness, but it’s clear that it’s time for me to let go.

So what is letting go? Letting go is refusing to feed the thoughts about another person anymore. Just refusing to entertain them. Whether that means just being unreactive when the thought comes up or thinking about something (anything) else… When I stop entertaining thoughts on anything, it takes the emotional wind out of that thought’s sails and it disappears.

In my mind, I still remember all the great times we had together. I remember the ups and the downs and I don’t regret any of it. Sure, there were lessons … [Click Here to Read Post] »

So recently I’ve written about rewriting some of my old posts because I felt they were off-putting. One of the things I like to do when something feels “wrong” is to distill what it is that seems to be causing that feeling.

What I think was off-putting about some of the things I had written is that it conveyed a mentality of one-up-manship. It implied that I felt I was better than someone else or that I overtook someone else in some way - whether it was the girl, my peer group or guys in general.

And when I read these phrases, I would think to myself, “Fuck that guy… oh wait, I wrote that!” Oops. It was as if what I was saying was communicating to the audience, I’m better than you.

Now this is definitely not what I am going … [Click Here to Read Post] »

I recently mentioned how I went through some of my old posts and saw that the tone of some of my posts came across as arrogance (which was definitely not what I was going for in posting).

Which brings me to the question: What separates arrogance from playful cockiness?

Some of the things I said that were off putting were along the lines of, “Of course I succeeded - why wouldn’t I?” or “… and then I did this to her and then I did this to her…” Things like that. Now, I’m exagerating it a bit for the purpose of this discussion, but some of it really did sound that obnoxious and I was totally unaware how it came across as I was writing it.

What made it arrogant was that I was kind of implying that I am flawless and that everything comes easy to me. I think that playful cockiness is about expectations, whereas arrogance is about beliefs about one’s self. Arrogance has a feeling of “I am better than you” whereas cockiness has a feeling of “I expect great things and I’m not ashamed to say it.”

… [Click Here to Read Post] »

One of the advantages in journaling my experiences as I learn to improve my skills with women is that I can reflect back on what I’ve written.

Today I went through some of my older entries and cleaned up the tone and presentation a bit. See, I believe that this blog’s value to others comes from the fact that Legend and I put it all out there, raw, for everyone to see and hopefully to learn from.

At the same time, in going through my old posts I noticed that the tone in a few specific sections came across as arrogant and falsely confident. To a point, it … [Click Here to Read Post] »

One of our readers (who’s an all around good guy) recently asked me, “Have you made any posts about identity?”

Not yet, actually. Legend and I have both touched on different ideas for how we manage our “avatar” (the image that people see and draw impressions from in a social environment), but I don’t think either of us have touched on the core issue of identity.

I think identity is a core and sacred topic. I want to be very frank in saying that this is an area I struggled with for years - I was very unclear and confused about who I was. These days, I have a very clear idea of my identity (though I continue to explore myself, as that is life). I want to share what my epiphanies were in terms of my own self and identity discovery.

In my early twenties, I was studying seduction … [Click Here to Read Post] »

Thinking back on my social interactions, I had a history of being stingy even as a kid. I didn’t like sharing, I wasn’t a big fan of being generous and I was definitely one to fight for anything that I viewed as scarce.

As a teenager, I saw this in myself and felt guilty about it. At the same time, I looked at women and money as scarce, so I definitely did not want to consider being generous. Instead, I just felt guilty about taking anything from anyone and formed an intent to be completely independent and self-sufficient.

Independence and self-sufficiency are great characteristics. However, when it comes to improving skills with women or socially in generally, you have to be willing to give and take.

What stands in the way of people giving freely?

I think there were a few major internal forces … [Click Here to Read Post] »

Winners aim to win at everything they set their sights on.

Losers aim to look like winners at everything they set their sights on.

Winners keep an internal scorecard of how many times they’ve won.

Losers keep an internal scorecard of how many times they’ve looked like winners.

Winners calibrate.

Losers complain.

Winners climb, endure and earn.

Losers blame, excuse and cover-up.

Remember that old phrase: “It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game”? Well, whenever I heard … [Click Here to Read Post] »

I’m finding that your attention and focus can have a tremendous impact on the entire interaction. I want to talk a little about something I call “focus game” and how I believe it can be used to improve your skills with women / dating.

I am chatting with a girl on Friday in a bar, when all of a sudden, some local radio station starts up a contest and begins loudly announcing their crap. I turn and look at the announcer and then turn back to the girl I was talking to. I noticed she was facing the announcers and then returned to me as soon as I started talking again.

At this moment, I thought to myself, “This radio stuff is going to keep going on. I don’t want her to … [Click Here to Read Post] »

One of the hot topics in popular psychology today is the “law of attraction.” The Law of Attraction states that what you focus on will manifest into your reality. John Kehoe (Mind Power) says that in the law of attraction, “thoughts that are emotionalized become magnetized and attract similar and like thoughts.”

Jerry and Esther Hicks make a distinction about focus and what we attract into our lives. They recommend that you NEVER focus on wanting something, but instead live through the feeling of having what it is you want. This will highly increase the number of opportunities you get to have that certain something - when the opportunity comes up, you take action.

How does this relate to picking up beautiful women? Well, lately I’ve noticed the more that I have been going out to become better with … [Click Here to Read Post] »

So I am driving home this past weekend with a female friend who I’m very close with. She says to me, “You think too much about this stuff. I don’t think - I just flow and everything works out for me.” Now mind you, she is straight, but this girl has got the most solid game I’ve ever seen in picking up chicks, so I enjoy talking to her about the subject.

And on the one hand she’s right. George Clooney and Brad Pitt don’t have to think about game. The guy who’s been great with women all his life… he doesn’t have to think about game.

Well guess what? I don’t have to think about playing guitar… But if I told someone who’s never played to just “not think” and play it, they would not be able to play like me.

We live in a society that attributes … [Click Here to Read Post] »

Biggest reason for it? I’m having lots of sex… so I’m not trying as hard to push my limits and maintain things that are working well to forward my game.

I think a lot of guys have some success in practicing pick-up / seduction, but then stop persuing it because they either a) get sloppy and lose their discipline, b) get a girlfriend … [Click Here to Read Post] »

The drinks are finishing up, I say, “OK, let’s go to my house and listen to some music. You have to hear those songs.” She agrees and we’re off.

I keep the conversation going from the bar all the way up to my room. “Oh, hey, let me show you how I do up the room when I’m doing yoga.” I start lighting candles and some incense. “Teach me some yoga right now! I want to learn it. I need to relax.”

OK, fair enough… So I start off playfully, “OK, I’m your yoga teacher and you’re my student. Do you promise that if I teach you this stuff, you’ll be a good student and do everything I say?” Yes. “OK, then we’ll do it. But this means you’re special, because I normally don’t teach anyone this stuff.” (True.)

So I start showing her the basics of breathing and movement. I show her a few different asanas (yoga movements) and then after a few minutes … [Click Here to Read Post] »

As I went through my Saturday night, she had sent me a couple of text messages, asking how the venue I went to was and saying it was nice to meet me. I felt that the number was solid and this confirmed it.

So I sent her a text on Sunday afternoon to meet up with her on Monday evening. Truth was, I was trying to meet up with a girl I had met last Friday, but haven’t Day 2′ed with yet. That did not pan out, so I ended up going over to one of my other girl’s apartment to play Wii with her and have fun.

Monday rolls around and I’m tired… Staying up until 2 playing the Wii wasn’t a good choice. Regardless, I was going to see my date through, so I made the mental decision to keep my mind sharp.

Soon enough, it’s 8 o’clock and she steps off the … [Click Here to Read Post] »

Pulled another girl for a Day 2 from the club this weekend and had a fantastic time. Here’s how it happened:

To paint a picture: She was around 5’5, nice thin body, long, gorgeous black hair and shining blue eyes. Not to mention great legs and huge, round perfectly-shaped breasts. These were like hypnotically perfect breasts. Real too.

Legend and I were walking outside one of our favorite clubs into the smoking section to hang out for a bit. Smoking sections are nice – all the girls in the nightclub, but the relief of being able to hear and use your voice to the full extent.

This girl was already there, just hanging. So Legend and I are talking about something silly, who knows, and I just started including her in the conversation as if she was part of our flock. She starts participating and is all smiles. Then, I start to playfully tease her a bit, acting a little suspicious of her then showing the possibility of me maybe complimenting her. She bites … [Click Here to Read Post] »

I’ve been consistently going out and pushing my edge with this stuff. And each week, I have been pushing my edge further and further out, but I have not really reflected on how far I’ve come.

The first time I went out, I only approached one set and they blew me off. This last week, I been out with a different girl each night. (I’m not counting Friday and Saturday… didn’t pull anyone home this weekend, but got some solid numbers.)

So this was the end of week 12 for me since Legend and I started up this mission to become experts in “the game”. We’ve been grabbing dating advice/dating tips, reading up on pick up, experimenting with seduction techniques… but most … [Click Here to Read Post] »

I met this girl the other day complete feisty personality and she could dish it out almost as well as I could give it to her. I had her over to go swimming the other day. When I first met her she didn’t seem as hot as her attitude but dam. She was dressed down completely not trying to impress me in anyway but when she walked out of the bathroom in her bikini dam. She had the best body I’ve seen in a long long time. Perfect breasts big c-cups and really skinny with nice rock hard abs no fat at all. She could be raking it in as a stripper if she wanted. It was taking all my energy not to stare like a dog the entire time we were hanging out. Either way right then and there I decided I am going to get this girl. She had to leave right after swimming giving us no time for anything. I think to myself time in the bank. She trys to make me jealous talking about this guy she was going to see after me. No reaction from me at all. Cool anyway we will hang out later then. Hugs good bye.

We txt back and froth for two days teasing each other and me baiting her to come over swimming again. Yesterday she comes over. It starts off slow, but I set … [Click Here to Read Post] »

As promised, here’s the in-field picture (with faces blocked.)

By the time my girl is halfway through her second drink, I’m already on my fourth. And considering that I don’t drink in bars or clubs when I go out, I’ve become kind of a lightweight (or lighter weight) so I stopped myself from drinking any more.

“Let’s go back and listen to that music… I’m done drinking,” I said. She agrees and we get up.

While walking back to my house, we continue to talk about different topics and the banter continues too. We arrive in my room - I had already talked about how I love to do yoga, so I say, “Oh man, let me show you how I set up for yoga.” (I always convey excitement to show the girl things that will set the stage for hooking up… go figure.) So I turn out the lights, light some candles … [Click Here to Read Post] »

Met a great girl Friday night. I’m not going to go into great detail in this post. Just grab the audio from the Field Debrief Audio section.

This is what pick-up/seduction is all about.

Just to paint a picture… this girl has gorgeous mocha colored skin, a fantastic smile with adorable dimples, a nice pert butt and long, flowing black hair. Nice white teeth (which I like), very pretty face and a grade A body. Fantastic.

At the end of Friday, I send her a couple light texts. Then Saturday afternoon I accidentally call her. I meant to call a girl I work with, only to have her voice on the other end of the line… “Great timing,” she says, “I’m on my break.” Realizing I called the wrong girl, without missing a beat, I say, “Good, cause I’m about to run out the door. Let’s meet up tomorrow.”
“For what,” she asks.
“Oh, we’re going to have an adventure.”
“Nice OK, I’m looking forward to it then. When?”
“Let’s meet at 8 at my house … [Click Here to Read Post] »

OK. Last night was solid… I wasn’t able to debrief with Legend, but I might follow-up on it tonight.

So, just to set the stage, I did pull a hot blonde Brazilian chick out of the club last night. Let me set the stage… I am walking through the club I like to go to when all of a sudden, the crowd of people parts and there is a gorgeous exotic-looking blonde girl. She was wearing white heels, a revealing pink top and a ruffly extremely short white skirt. I can’t resist a really short skirt. Not to mention she had platinum blonde hair and nice tan skin.

So I am walking by and I said something silly to her like, “You look suspect…” or something like that. She looks up and says something back. I don’t understand. I spit out some other BS. She says something - finally I realize she has a heavy accent.

Then I remembered something my … [Click Here to Read Post] »